»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
Dragon Fire
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
Dragon Fire |
|
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
|
Dragon Fire On the ill of a dare, in the soft of my chair I charged into the dragon’s lair. On a thought of invite, on a phrase of excite I faced again my acolyte. And from my repose I flew and I rose Once more to a youthful expose. In the wink of an eye and the sigh of a sigh I faced again times justify. She was all of my worth, the queen of my earth All that I would, from time of birth The white of the dove, the light from above She was my heaven and my love. But was taken from me, by the will of the sea Empting my eternity And a butterfly flies on the wings of my sighs That leaks from the dreams of my eyes. And I sit in my chair with nothing but flair And a dragon that fires the air |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Seymour, Ok, I'm impressed. Internal rhyme is smooth, alliteration is impressive. The only thing "I" would do differently is I wouldn't capitalize the beginning of every line, but really don't you think that's a personal choice? this is gooooodddddd Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee [This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 03-14-2001).] |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
"she was all of my worth, the queen of my earth all that I would, from time of birth the white of the dove, the light from above she was my heaven and my love But was taken from me, by the will of the sea empting my eternity and a butterfly flies on the wings of my sighs that leaks from the dreams of my eyes And I sit in my chair with nothing but flair and a dragon that fires the air" ===================================== My! My! Sir Sy! Wowza!  Me thinks, I have a new favourite poem of yours  This is phenomenally expressed, excellent flow, alliteration, images, and outpouring of intense emotions. Into the library this goes~Take care, Melissa~ The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams ~Melissa P. Monette~ |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Alone, but not for all thought is there with she taken by sea a keeper... |
||
|
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Seymour you've got a great imagination my friend! The trips one can go on right from their favourite chair......I enjoyed taking the trip with you.......glad you never got us hurt cause I know those old dragons can burn ya! But hey! no sense being scared I was right there to help ya if ya got in trouble...right there ...right outside waiting!! But as it ended up there you were......... "And I sit in my chair with nothing but flair And a dragon that fires the air" The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
||
|
Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
Truely Awesome! The imagination nothing short of terrific! ~*Peachy Be*~ |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Exceptional Seymour ... an absolutely delightful read!  Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
nice write, Sy! |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
On a thought of invite, on a phrase of excite I faced again my acolyte. ========================== In the wink of an eye and the sigh of a sigh I faced again times justify. She was all of my worth, the queen of my earth All that I would, from time of birth The white of the dove, the light from above She was my heaven and my love. But was taken from me, by the will of the sea Empting my eternity And a butterfly flies on the wings of my sighs That leaks from the dreams of my eyes. And I sit in my chair with nothing but flair And a dragon that fires the air ========================== "In the wink of an eye and the sigh of a sigh I faced again times justify." "Time's justify" ... when one really ponders that thought,--that idea ... what an infinitly cool phrase Sy...very cool. and your gift for inner ryhme is showcased in this cadence kissed beauty..... "She was all of my worth, the queen of my earth All that I would, from time of birth" "But was taken from me, by the will of the sea Empting my eternity And a butterfly flies on the wings of my sighs That leaks from the dreams of my eyes." as well as unique and very cool imagery ... and SY ... never doubt theres AT LEAST one butterfly ... *sighing* on high ... while *winkiewinkie* her butterfly eye this poem would make a blind butterfly *sigh*  meSprayed across my heart and hers Danced butterflies in the wild This angel, this woman , who loves me with the innocence of a child. ~DeVante~ |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Lookie who I found ... Ole Randy snuck out while ya was napping in your chair  |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
To all the above I can't thank you enough for your wonderful comments. To JM, if you ever need a randy dragon just let me know. You are my Email tinker bell and haunt the treasure house of my memory. Winkiewinkie Love Ya. |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I love the rhyme in this, Seymour... but I sigh for the sadness and hope happier endings are in store. *S* Well done! |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Suthern, You are a love to bring this back. Thank you so much. *L* |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
