Tell Me Again-----the challege

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Open Poetry #12

Tell Me Again-----the challege

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

0 posted 2001-02-22 12:14 PM

Tell Me Again-----the challenge

Fine…you want to put me through this
I will go there
If it will bring us once again
To that first night last summer
When I never thought it would end
You kissed me first
Thought I’d lose my mind
Thought we had so many places to go from there
But it was only a matter of time
Still…you want me to go through this
I will say I still love you
No one has ever taken me where you did
No one has ever left me with less understanding
I’ll tell you again
That I love you
You will tell me
Love isn’t enough
I will walk away silently
This diamond still in the rough.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

1 posted 2001-02-22 12:23 PM

If you are a "diamond in the rough" I cant wait to see the cut stone...this is great

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2001-02-22 01:56 AM

This was really great JLR. What was the challenge?

I do think that the last line could be better if it weren't a cliché, or was that the challenge, to use that phrase.

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

3 posted 2001-02-22 08:53 AM

Finn & VAS---I was torn about that last line, so cliche' as you said VAS (and I truly appreciate the critique)...yet in the situation I wrote about, so fitting. The 'challenge' I actually saw in another forum and I doubt my answer to it was the intent of that author but my mind works a bit differently than most and this is simply what I did with it. Thank you both for responding.

ParisGrl
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 610

4 posted 2001-02-23 10:15 AM

R.J.

I loved this! Beautiful work my friend!

~Laura~

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

5 posted 2001-02-23 10:36 AM

JLR~ I think you did a wonderful job..........the challenge seems pretty open to me, I like to see all the different ways a phrase can be used.......

SEA

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