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Open Poetry #12
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Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...

0 posted 2001-01-13 01:12 AM


A flaxen moon enhances the night
sylphlike form gliding silently  
her gentle light luminous
among a blanket of stars
Ice slivers caught in a wintry breeze
float through the darkness
drawn to a huddled form
shrouding her hair in a frosty veil
snowflakes clinging to her secrets
The woman shivers
hugging her knees closer
cold plastic biting into her bare arms
as she sinks further into the chair
Taking a long drag on her only warmth
embers glow, then fade
she exhales in a clouded sigh
Immersed in unearthly beauty
she gazes upon the moon
shimmering light falling
pliant upon a trembling body
gentle tears
reflected in the moonlight






I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

© Copyright 2001 Denise Blackwell - All Rights Reserved
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
1 posted 2001-01-13 01:20 AM


I felt how sad and lonely this person is, but you described it in a beautiful way!
KokoStewartKoomoa
Senior Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 580
Waikiki, Hawaii
2 posted 2001-01-13 02:52 AM


This is a very skillful use of imagery that is exquisite writing! I read this piece several times and loved it more each time.
The moon has it's allure! smiles...

Passion,imagination
and intellect
running together...
Poetry in motion~~~

Aloha with
warmest regards, Koko



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
3 posted 2001-01-13 04:53 AM


Breathe,
beautiful write.
Kethry


Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen.



tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
4 posted 2001-01-13 05:18 AM


Breathe~
Beautiful moonlight sadness   this was a wonderful read...well done
Tracie~


Love is the life of the soul...
It is the harmony of the universe



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2001-01-13 05:21 AM


Very nice...James
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-01-13 08:53 AM


Breathe,

The sadness emits from this one.  Perhaps the moonlight will warm her soul and bring her peace.  Well written.

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-01-13 09:08 AM


I could feel the cool...
dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
8 posted 2001-01-13 09:19 AM


youve painted sad aloneness in a very beautiful way....wonderfully worded poem..

hugs, g

"oh baby baby, its a wild world..its hard to get by just upon a smile..." cat stevens

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
9 posted 2001-01-13 09:19 AM


This is a sad but beautiful. The imagery is stunning.
Deb

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

10 posted 2001-01-13 09:23 AM


nicely written breathe..enjoyed your words

                  ~V~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)



Breathe~
Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315
Washington...
11 posted 2001-01-13 02:10 PM


Sometimes I can see the comments and post to everyone individually...and other times there is no comments when I click to reply...Does anyone know why?:

anyways...thank you everyone for stopping by and taking time to read...I would prefer to thank you each one by one, but my computer will only let be click back one time....very frustrating at time!...But thank you...


I love the time
and in between
the calm inside me
in the space
where I can breathe...

Sarah McLachlan

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2001-01-13 02:17 PM


Lovely, enjoyed the read.  

And on the comments, I too have the same problem, and at times my comments appear immediately and other  times it may take awhile before I can see any new comments.
The main listing will show 10 comments, but when go to the piece, it may only show seven until quite awhile later.  Then again, may appear with just a refresh of the screen.

Oh well...

jwesley

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2001-01-13 02:41 PM


Incredible imagery in this beautiful piece Breathe ... you created an amazing picture with these words, very nicely penned!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

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