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Open Poetry #12
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Reasons for Being ................. {Counting Blessings}
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Reasons for Being ................. {Counting Blessings} |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Reasons for Being (Counting Blessings) “the babe won’t make it….be prepared” and that was the news imparted to a mother who waited and a father, sorry hearted… hoping for a miracle… but they must have prayed, or at least, found a bit of faith in their love for as it turned out the doctor didn’t know the forces of a miracle… you see, I shouldn’t be here… with blood poisoning pumping through my mother’s veins but the real of me is here, and remains a miracle… we are all miracles….we all somehow have been graced by love, to know the value of a miracle…. when one comes to us then miracles happen to miracles, I know… for I was blessed by a second chance to live when as a teen I gave surfing a go and the board hit me in the head, I remember the sea pulling me out and the salt searing my lungs I should not be here, but for a miracle when the sea spit me out and about we should thank God every day for the miracles that abound but too many take too much for granted, I’ve found… and they don’t see the miracles just laying around…. like so many before me there are days I feel as if I cannot see through depression, hurt, and misery through losses that have scarred the heart of me miracles come in strange design if we would just resign ourselves to concede their presence thus, to feel their essence… you are a miracle, in that, I believe… our days are miracles, so I don’t leave anything for granted, as everything has a reason so I continue my belief in the coming of the seasons, as the waves wash up to my shores I shall believe in miracles, forevermore…. 02.13.01 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Sunshine yuh are a miracle that's cool me I have a miracle whip heheheh sorry I liked this one o yuh You know the "Never Ending Story"? They're still telling it! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
You are indeed a miracle and today I will think more positive.... "we should thank God every day for the miracles that abound but too many take too much for granted, I’ve found… and they don’t see the miracles just laying around…." thank you, Sunshine huggzzzz..and many are thankful that you are still here to spread your love to all... ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
This is very moving, Kari..I can think of some times I shouldn't have made it either...like being VERTICAL on the side of a mountain watching a huge rock tumbling towards my face, transfixed in horror and feeling something pushing my head down - so the rock just slammed into the top of my head and I wasn't knocked off and away and down...(though I had a mighty big headache while climbing the rest of that 12,000 ft monstrosity lol). Thanks for reminding me of that - today is surely a day I need to count my blessings. Now I have some suggestions revolving around forced ryhme... “the babe won’t make it….be prepared” and that was the news imparted to a mother who waited and a father, sorry hearted… hoping for a miracle… the rhyme of imparted and sorry hearted seems a bit obvious. Since this seems to be freeverse which includes rhyming lol, the rhymes need to be used with care - this opening rhyme just sticks out a little bit. Also - I wonder if sorry hearted would work better as sorry-hearted? So, perhaps to make the rhyme less obvious you could have the verse look like this: “the babe won’t make it….be prepared” and that was the news imparted to a mother who waited and a father, sorry-hearted, hoping for a miracle… the rhyme is still there but slightly deflected by the the hoping for following on the same line. Also - a miracle is given it's own private space and emphasis, which fits in with the emphasis given to it in the other verses. This part: 'we should thank God every day for the miracles that abound but too many take too much for granted, I’ve found… and they don’t see the miracles just laying around….' abound, found, and around are too much together...the other verses are delicate in their rhyming - this seems forced - like you used the word around just because it rhymed. Not saying you DID lol - it just seems that way to me - and I know - who am I to speak on rhyming? heh. My suggestion for an alteration is this: we should thank God every day for miracles abounding but too many take too much for granted, I’ve found… and they don’t see the miracles waiting which includes an internal rhyme on the 'oun' sound...and openly rhymes 'ing' which fits with the overall scheme of the poem - and is subtler. but now I shall shut up lol thanks for allowing me the chance to comment - Little K is reveling in the critique flag option LOL hugs  K...and I have found that a lifetime can be lived in one moment... T.G.M. [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 02-13-2001).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Thank you for the comments, Walt.... Wynter that is a very special comment, thank you... Little K....I will try not to force anything ever again....these were just some rambling thoughts....I do appreciate the comments....you show me how much I do not know.... |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
Thanks so much, Sunshine - for giving us pause to think of miracles...and to be thankful... So happy that you're around to share your wonderful thoughts! Lary |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I will simply say - thank you for: posting this, being the miracle that you are being the poetess that you've become |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is extremely humbling, thank you! "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
I believe that miracles come from our hearts. Beautifully penned. Poeminister |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Larylee, I'm pretty happy about it, too!...thank you... Mr. Yeats, you are very welcome... Kathleen, so glad you are reading...thank you... Indeed they do, Poeminister, indeed they do... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
like so many before me there are days I feel as if I cannot see through depression, hurt, and misery through losses that have scarred the heart of me miracles come in strange design if we would just resign ourselves to concede their presence thus, to feel their essence… you are a miracle, in that, I believe… our days are miracles, so I don’t leave anything for granted, as everything has a reason so I continue my belief in the coming of the seasons, as the waves wash up to my shores I shall believe in miracles, forevermore…. ======================= indeed ... beautiful and inspiring ... thank you K, for the parts of this shared with me and my butterfly miracle... this is lovely and perfect. "miracles come in strange design if we would just resign ourselves to concede their presence thus, to feel their essence…" yes... exactly.  In the evening when you see my eyes Looking back at you no disguise Im not sure who you think youll see Im just hoping youll still know that its me |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
It would be a sad life not to have miracles to believe in.... your words say it all... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
As you count your blessings, you help others remember theirs. *S* I read something not long ago that stuck with me (and will probably end up as a poem one of these days *G*) - "We pray for miracles... and then remark about coincidences." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
JM...yes, exactly....{~,^} 'Deer....thank you.... suthern....if I do that....then I'm doing something right....thank you! {~,^} |
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