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1st free verse poem I ever posted........from #4
| Open Poetry #12 |
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1st free verse poem I ever posted........from #4 |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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The blow came from nowhere unexpected unwarranted undeserved I yelped in surprise jumped back found shelter curled into a tiny ball hid Now you call again smiling entreating hand extended treat offered enticing I will come to you...but slinking crouched muscles tensed head bowed eyes on hands warily After a time I will lick love wag fetch But I will not lie down roll over And I will never expose my belly [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
OOHHHHHHHH lol...never expose your vulnerabilities...this is perfect |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Every puppy I've ever had has been vunerable in that manner...someone treated them wrong.... luckily for me...my puppies grown have always found a loving home.... someday....all puppies will be treated right.... one of my favorite "saddest books"....Beautiful Joe.... all of us will.... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 02-07-2001).] |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This puppy has more sense then most humans.  after reading Doreen's reply I come back and say that yes, to be open and honest goes beyond "puppy" sense and into the realm of trust and love...... and human instinct is different than animal instinct. ...an indepth poem, one that will stay with me. "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis [This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 02-07-2001).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i always thought when a puppy exposes his belly it's because he is open to being loved and not afraid of it.... i don't remember this one but it's well written for your first free verse poem... of course, your writing never ceases to amaze.... it reminds of me of the "who wants to be a millionaire" poem you wrote last summer, i guess since you use the same image about a dog exposing his belly.... i love that poem.... it's really true that people do protect themselves in much the same manner.... sometimes people finally come to the conclusion that the only way to experience life and love fully is to go ahead and let down those walls of protection, which is what your millionaire poem said.... and it's so true... anyway, i'm rambling here... didn't get much sleep and can't believe i'm up so early so i have no idea what i'm saying because i haven't had coffee yet, but so what's new, huh? it's doreen, y'know? even after the coffee she rambles and has no clue what she's saying and even talks about herself in the third person sometimes.... that sounds like a good title... maybe i'll write that today... "the third person"... i'll put a dog in it, too, maybe... LOL..... "the third person and a dog"... hmmm... has possibilities...y'think? only my dog's gonna expose his belly......  |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
'Deer love, this is utterly amazing, I simply cannot do free verse at all. You can quite clearly do anything you turn your hands to. Absolutely truly superb love, and this is outstandingly written. I have never seen anything less from you of course. Wonderful excellant writing. As always. Take care love as always Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
well I don't know anything about a free verse, but I do know that I liked to read this one a lot. excellent as always Charisma |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* oh my gosh, dear one, this is a very powerful poem. There is much of your heart in it. Much love and hugs to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://www.voy.com/7622/ http://www.powerpoems.com |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
I remember this one and I love it as much today as I did when you first posted it...and I believe you once said you couldn't write free verse ~ Ruth www.angelfire.com/pa/OriginalMinds/index.html |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Very cute, Balladeer! Not even if I tickle your belly? Corinne |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very unique, warm and wonderful...simple but so well put together..I like that kind of thing once in awhile it's a great heart stimulant.... ethome |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
I do remember this one, and yep, its sad that in some relationships you can't give all, there is that little soft spot that we must protect...great write |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
Love this poem! I find it hard to believe that it is your first free verse posted. It is really good and I love the analogy. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I remember this one well, Deer one... and still love it! *S* And you're less cautious that me... This belly is NEVER exposed... and I think I'll play deaf the next time I'm called. *S* |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, Bellies....Hmmm, everyone has them some are more beautiful than others, and yours is the best of all. write on Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this one was worth reading again................. "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
READY.....TAKE AIM........FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey thar sir....I heard Cupid was looking fer ya and I thought I would warn ya. Now whatcha doin hidin way back here? Great write and I am glad you reposted this as I was not around the first time it came to be. I have a feeling though that you would turn your belly to the sky if the right lady came along and I hope that today shows a promise of that for you. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
This is fantastic, B... And could you set my mind at ease, it's the 1st one you've posted, but please tell me it's not the first one you've written...it's too polished! |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
Well. Your first free verse poem is magnificent.. and I absolutely loved reading it.. Hehe, I have difficulty writing rhyme.. this is very clever Deer.. Luv, Lynne "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu |
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