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Open Poetry #11
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ever wish, of "ought"....
| Open Poetry #11 |
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ever wish, of "ought".... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I am listless lost in thought you are somewhere where I ought to learn to be so brave and free I am remorseless weep in time I live the thoughtless, soughtless rhyme... I am the half beat measure's time the beat that's ever lost... without the black line measured cost... I am the ever wish of "ought"... And maybe never and forever a gentle whisper of a rhyme... maybe I am forever tethered to smoky eyes and signs, divined? Don't ask me to turn away, when I could brush these tears, dismay-- Don't ask me to be silent when I could hold your hand as friend... I just can't turn and walk away... I just can't leave you here this way. I'll hold you when you need, my friend. I told you. I am here. Defend, you... until...There is no end. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 11-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
The rhyme, the flow, the expression just wrap it up in silken bow it's a gift of a splendid read... Thank you for sharing  Coco |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
oh, oh I really MUST echo CoCo!!!!! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Real good stuff there Serenity....love the devotion but most of all the way you've arranged the words and phrases to express...very very good!! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I really really really really like this and am storing it away..I almost feel there is a lot hidden between these lines...huggzz ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I live the thoughtless, soughtless rhyme... I am the half beat measure's time the beat that's ever lost... without the black line measured cost... I am the ever wish of "ought"... And maybe never and forever a gentle whisper of a rhyme... maybe I am forever tethered to smoky eyesAnd maybe never and forever a gentle whisper of a rhyme... and signs, divined? ==================== I just can't leave you here this way. I'll hold you when you need, my friend. I told you. I am here. Defend, you... until...There is no end. =================== "I am the half beat measure's time the beat that's ever lost..." how cool is that verse ...way way cool Sen this is so beautiful...so full of heart.. so ... YOU ... "And maybe never and forever a gentle whisper of a rhyme..." what an amazing verse that is me girlie... and thats how this poem reads... like a gentle whisper from lips serene ... beautiful baby... just like the poet..that wrote it. love ya me twin me |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Serenity what is it about the chopped sentence the quick finish the pull of the line that leads the eye to yet one more rhyme which you do with grace Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity~ I loved my friend like this for 14 years and it has done me no good, yet I am still struggling with letting go.... I think I can do nothing but love him..........it just won't die.......I loved this by the way  -SEA |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
My friend, I could think of no better way to be loved as a friend than the way that you have so perfectly poured out onto the page. Wonderful write my dear angeldandered girlie. You can hold me anytime. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
serenity girl, there is a treasure of gold between these lines.... |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Echos of word I've heard spoken before. Well done Serenity Thank you Rich |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Serenity~ This is a beautiful love song you pen here. Deb |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very interesting style, it pulls you in immediately. I love the title, too. Just all around great writing.. Sandra |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I shall refrain from using the S word (for submit) but will just get to the meat of this message...submit, submit..oh! Sorry.. this is magical...I felt suspended in time as I read it. You my friend are a poet! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Forgive my haste---did wish to thank all me lovely poet people!!! Big Hugs, and happy Thanksgiving...I am grateful for each of you! Much love to all. (now...back to the kitchen...sigh...) |
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