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Open Poetry #10
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Echoes Of You
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Echoes Of You |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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~ECHOES OF YOU~ Evening falls upon my hope, echoes of you haunt the air as bitterness engulfs my fragile form, I sit in silence, without peace of mind, without reasons why or comforts found, lost in sorrow and emptiness confusion sets in, all I ever wanted was love, yet this, my soul shall never find, like a firefly to the flame of the spark, so is my desire for you, with my wings burned by the sting of the heat that only you can conjure within my blood, the pen breaks away from my hands never to write again, our symphony shall never be a masterpiece composed, it's purity and beauty is tainted by betrayal and dark corners, my piano surrounds my weak body as my only companion on this cold and eerie night, trembling fingertips make love to it's keys madly stroking back and forth trying to forget, black keys mix with white, white keys overflow into black thinned by the salty tears that seep from my soul's eyes, I seek solace in unconciousness dreams capture your silhouette, shadows sway upon my memories' wall just out of reach from my outstretched arms, you keep me in suspense taunting my emotions, laughing at the vulnerable state of my heart as you lure me closer and closer, as I, in desperation follow in raging want of you in remembrance of what once was, I hold your mysterious mist but quickly it vanishes by the chiming of the grandfather clock solemnly echoing throughout this now unrecognizable room, I awake, alone, with empty arms once more, my blood curdles and freezes, the pain cuts deep, traces left behind linger in my heart of memories, morning's just a breath away, exhaustion feasts upon heartache, as I still cannot find the strength to utter goodbye, it's much too terrifying to let you go *By Melissa Honeybee* < !signature--> The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 10-08-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Letting go is the hardest part, isn't it Honeybee? Yes I understand you here  *hugs* "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Melissa~ Such a haunting refrain you've played - 'my piano surrounds my weak body as my only companion on this cold and eerie night, trembling fingertips make love to it's keys' Very nicely done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I loved the imagery you used in this piece. The chaos swirled around me until I too felt breathless. Nice work. When you are old and grey and full of sleep, And nodding by the fire, take down this book, And slowly read, and dream of the soft look Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep; How many loved your moments of glad grace, And loved your beauty with love false or true, But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you, And loved the sorrows of your changing face... William Butler Yeats |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow Melissa! Incredible imagery and so many exceptional phrases within this piece ... "the pen breaks away from my hands never to write again, our symphony shall never be a masterpiece composed," "my piano surrounds my weak body as my only companion on this cold and eerie night, trembling fingertips make love to it's keys" "dreams capture your silhouette, shadows sway upon my memories' wall" Excellent ... wonderful and expressive Melissa! Best wishes, /Kit |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Melissa How haunting these words are to me. I have played those same piano keys deep in my soul with only the walls to hear. Guess we all sing the same song at some time in our life, though it cuts like a knife. Good write dear friend. deb |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
WOW!!! Girl if you have any doubts about your ability as a poet after this piece then you may need to see someone tee hee  This is a most fantastic piece, so haunting and lonely I'll say it again WOW!!! Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Melissa. . . Wow. . . just. . . wow. . . Did I say wow?? This is excellent. . . hauntingly beautiful and ethereal. . . Superb. . . --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Most of us have been here and I know that it cuts deep and hurts but time will ease most of that. Some may remain just to remind you of the heart and it's strength to love. Wonderfully written my friend of poetry. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*sigh*...beautiful...feel the emotions, and recognize them...great writing. Charisma |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
Melissa, This is just beautiful.. I couldn't pick out a favorite line even if I wanted to. And .. your soul will find love. Never give up faith. Hugs to you. ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Melissa- WOW! This is an amazing piece. Wonderful imagery, and too many favorite lines to choose. Enjoyed it very much. -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Melissa~ wow! i've read two of your pieces today and each is filled with such intensity and emotion. the emotion in this one was flying off the page hon. to say this is good would be a huge understatement. whatever inspired this...go with it. i look forward to reading more in the near future. take care. amy "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Melissa, Hauntingly beautiful words and images displayed here. It is always hard to let go, but it is the only way you can have a future. Best wishes. Excellent writing! Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you everyone for your replies. It was a difficult piece to write because it only brings the pain of losing him more to life, but I am slowly trying to let go. Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
beautiful |
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