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Open Poetry #10
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X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
Oregon

0 posted 2000-09-28 06:44 PM


scattered across the carpet
lay remnants of last night's
coming together
records of our life

bills
magazines
lists
a love note from you to me
(which I watched you put in the trash)
children's school papers

and I wondered where it had all gone to
does love drain out of someone
like water from a bath-tub?
does it go into hibernation
to sleep through the hurt?

and when you asked me questions
about falling in love
I wondered if it was me
you had fallen back in love with
and my heart sat
unbeating
waiting
for the bittersweet words
to fall
and when you
asked me
how to know when you
had become too close
to a friend

my heart
began to beat again
in fear
and as I asked her name

the word you spoke
was the name
of my best friend

and I can't feel right inside
since
and won't feel right inside
again

if you were looking for paybacks
for past wrongs.....
you found the key
hurt me by taking
the ones I dearly love away

take my children
by hurting me so badly
emotionally
that I am afraid
of my capability
to care for those sweet little boys

take another thing....
after my friends
after my children
take the one
who believes in
happily ever after

take him too
it will all be your triumph

(the preceeding was written in despair...I have since added a stanza)

take them all
for I know
in my heart
they'll never go
the only one who went
and the only one
who will go
is you




[This message has been edited by X Angel (edited 09-28-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Heather Walters - All Rights Reserved
Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
1 posted 2000-09-28 07:02 PM


wow. what a magnificent piece of writing. it's been a while since i've read something so raw in here. it is very sad but it's also very conveying of it's message. i send my condolences (i think i spelled that wrong...) and my empathy. i do hope that the despair has passed.
from the sound of the new stanza, i'd say it has or it's damn close to bein' gone.
great writing and thanks for postin this up.

"When you feel
like you've had it up to here
'cause you mad enough to scream
but you sad enough to tear...
that's Rock Bottom."

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-09-28 07:04 PM


Take care of your soft heart...someone will Love you...James


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-09-28 08:28 PM


Heather--so sad to see the hurt that two people can give to each other when a relationship dies...I have been there and believe me there is a life after as your last stanza shows...Hugs!
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
4 posted 2000-09-28 08:46 PM


gotta love ya!



glad you came up with the last stanza  

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2000-09-28 11:17 PM


Count your blessings, Heather. His last actions tell you everything you need to know. There is a life waiting for you, my friend...
Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2000-09-28 11:48 PM


X Angel,

Oh, so sad and heartbreaking in the beginning there.  It is amazing how easily those memories are discarded at times.  I have to say, my heart stopped there too while reading this.  Wonderful writing.  Nice ending my friend.  

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2000-09-29 02:52 AM


Heather~
Oh, hon ... the things we learn one ache at a time.

No one ... and I mean NO ONE can destroy
your capabilities as a mother ...
For the kitten from within
will roar like the lion to protect her den.

I hear your roar !
*Hugs* ...
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



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