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Open Poetry #10
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If We Get Old (another Sonnet)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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If We Get Old (another Sonnet) |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware 
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If we get old and find we've lost the spark Our hormones withered thin upon the vine, And what was once a burning for a lark No longer for the struggle do we pine, Remember well with me as we do cling Unto the other for the warmth we bring, Once we raised our heads did triumph sing And raised the roof as climax took its wing . Take joy with me my love, we once were great, Unmatched among our peers throughout the land, For once it took all night for us to sate, The thirst we craved just to hold the other's hand, I'm not disconsolate for you won't show A trace less love for me and you won't go. ~You have to have a dream so you can get up in the morning. ~ Billy Wilder |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Great work on this sonnet, Wilfred! Elizabeth Something sweet, something sort of grandish, sweeps my soul when thou art near... hedeservesbetter@hotmail.com |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wil, great sonnet. You are goood at this style of writing. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you have some very cool lines in this Wil, very sensual and unique ... excellent sonnet... "And raised the roof as climax took its wing ============================= For once it took all night for us to sate, The thirst we craved just to hold the other's hand, I'm not disconsolate for you won't show A trace less love for me and you won't go. ================== very cool indeed ... a sensitve subject approached with sincerity and honesty ... take care jm |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Elizabeth- If you think great - I humbly bow My muse closed up at fourteen line An epic poem would not endow You got a short poem this time Kethry- any style can be polished with discipline and practice - I feel certain a poet of your stature could do as well of better  Thank you Janet Marie- like many of mine - this poem was written shelved - revised - unsatisfied and shelved again - and the process repeated over a month sonnet it is now - a form baring faint resemblance to the original Thank you |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Bill--This is very tender...brought me to the brink of tears, it did. Very well constructed as well! |
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minstrel Junior Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 21Bowling Green, KY |
Wilfred, A great piece. Very well done. Hope to read more from you. minstrel |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Martie- Such a kind person you are - I bow to structure - and you dazzle with free verse while doing rhymes with equal skill nice words from you are thus doubly appreciated. Minstrel- Thank you so much - and welcome to Passionate forums |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah yes, I know this...yes... |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Your words touched deeply this heart Wilfred .. beautifully written, and with such exceptional style, I really enjoyed this! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Sunshine - Kit - your responses to my humble efforts truly overwhelm me - Thank you soooo much !!! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
if we get old, i'll tell you true, i'd wish there was someone like you. well, that, my friend, is just a dream since things here are not what they seem...  the thing is this... i wish you peace, this poetry is a release, but many have been held in veil of all the hopes they'd wished prevail..  i tag on here upon your verse -- apologize, it could be worse but i am here to say this now... your words are sweet... Oh BOY!... and HOW!  hehe  thanks, Wil, for bearing with me and allowing me to tag on to your post.. your sonnet is lovely ... somehow it inspired me... go figure... lol ... keep writing, posting, sharing... you are well received here in these forums and it is special to have you here ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
You amaze me sir each and every time I visit your posts. I have been wanting to try a sonnet but I am still learning all the rules and when I see one come up on the screen it is like a treat for me. A free lesson so to say. You sir are one amazing talent. Martie told me I would love your writing and she was so right. |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
lovely sonnet Wil..as always.. |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
I love this piece! Great work!! |
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