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Open Poetry #7
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Chastity Undone
| Open Poetry #7 |
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Chastity Undone |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Chastity Undone Those sand and freckled shoulders embraced this pastel youth with flowing skirt and softly rising mounded breasts and twirling stars were drunk in spell of flagstone walk your hands restless and a song was easy when linen ironed the night and starched each kiss to pressed perfection zipping and undone we as bleached as the moon said through shaded eyes in abandon we lay on grass and covered our laughter in leaves through wind laced shadow embraced and quieted finally until the crickets purred and a chill blew across the valley that was innocence and my hair feathered in dark lines across your open palm and that was all there was to it. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Gosh, Martie, I don't know whether to laugh or cry or sigh at this. Beautifully written - netswan |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Demure smiles here.  ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
*sigh* this is lovely, Martie!! Love and hugs, Lizzie "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Netswan--If you could do all three, that would be great...thank you Marge--guess you know, huh. Lizzie--thanks for the sigh and hugs back. |
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Franni Junior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 39 |
Martie, This is a powerful poem. The understatement of the last line really got me. I always appreciate the original way you tell reach your reader. Franni |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho |
Martie, This is really great. But you know what you could do to improve it..? Come up with the other 19 pages. How could you just drop me with your hair feathered in dark lines across open palms and have the nerve to tell me "and that was all there was to it." Somethin' ain't right here. LOL... It's great... where's the rest..? |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
The title picked me up by the feelers and propelled me into the air. But the last stanza and the last line covered me in goosebumps. You can certainly put a thing in meticulous words, no matter what the subject! Excellent. Time. Youth. Memories. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Franni--If the last line got you, that was just what I wanted it to do...thanks lucky--Okay, give me a minute will you--the rest...thinking here...LOL Rosemary--I'm glad you enjoyed this, I'm assuming those were good goosebumps...Hugs!..you too Dale. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and that was all? Mmmm....more perfection from you...I am still swimming in the sensuality of this as I go in search of part two...(I ain't natural, that way...) |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wonderful writing, Martie. The last line got me too! I'll have to give this a great big *sigh* Well done! Denise |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
great writing....what a picture you painted...love your writing girl |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Martie, another past moment drawn up so vividly. I think I felt a slight saddness their mixed with the abandon..... Parker |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Martie, I'm with Lucky on this one Come on, where are the other 19 pages? Great poem, Martie Liz |
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