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Open Poetry #7
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California

0 posted 2000-04-24 02:51 PM


GASP

A pause of silence
fixated between
heaving
cries of anguish,
I walk,
ever so tentatively
among stepping stones of
trepidation,
fear guides me
and always
I follow.

Time freezes
as all thought suspends,
caught in an eerie
abandonment of sound
hovering about me,
thick
with the filmy essence
of isolation.
How long till the bubble burst?
Till sticky walls of reality
collapse unto me...
How long,
till agony returns?

Pulse pounding my temples,
pressure building.
Pain, though mental,
takes physical form
in my chest.
Scouring eyes see nothing,
blurs and shadows
swallowing all
images of hope.

Who dares touch me now?
Why do you insist to pierce
this anemic shell?
Can you not just wait
till the cry returns?
Can I not just catch my breath,
before resuming
the bleeding
of my soul?

Michael Anderson




[This message has been edited by Michael (edited 04-24-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Michael Anderson - All Rights Reserved
Cassanova
Junior Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 39
Turlock, Ca.
1 posted 2000-04-24 04:06 PM


Breathe man, breathe!
Wow Michael! I felt the inhalation of anguish clearly etched into this piece! Fairly caught me by surprise, it did!

rene
Member
since 2000-04-24
Posts 113

2 posted 2000-04-24 04:09 PM


i like your hair, i understand your anguish
Daysleeper
Member
since 2000-04-23
Posts 119

3 posted 2000-04-24 04:10 PM


Michael-

This peice is incredible. I don't think there is anything I could specifically say about it. You've done such a beautiful job of conveying a feeling, a moment, an emotion, that I think it knocks your readers off their feet. I know it did me.

Here and now, all I have to say is, wow.

...Daysleeper...


 "Presently I've had enough of all your sanity." -James Kavanaugh

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2000-04-24 04:19 PM


Excellent writing, Michael. I can 'feel' the anguish in your words. It reminded me of the way I felt too many days in my first marriage. Horrible way to live for so many years. Thank God those days are far behind me. I wish you peace, Michael.

Denise

Jeffrey Carter
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
5 posted 2000-04-24 04:53 PM


Micheal,
All I can say is WOW!!!
The way you convey feelings and emotions is terrific yet horrifying at the same time. Another outstanding work from you.

All my love,
Jeffrey

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2000-04-24 09:49 PM


I just felt pain on a page...it was amazing.

 Kathleen



Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
7 posted 2000-04-24 10:12 PM


Michael, You always put so much emotion into your poetry it truly is amazing, I feel your message very strongly, I am sorry for your pain.
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
8 posted 2000-04-24 10:28 PM


Oh Michael..I too can relate to this.  Your words are so powerful, so intense, they tear at me...especially:

Time freezes
as all thought suspends,
caught in an eerie
abandonment of sound
hovering about me,
thick
with the filmy essence
of isolation.

Exellent work, as always.  You have extraordinary talent.  


 *Krista Knutson*

As soon as man does not take his existence for granted, but beholds it as something unfathomably mysterious, thought begins.
~*Albert Schweitzer*~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-04-25 03:16 AM


"Gasping, I forgot to breathe...."

Love to you, sweet Michael...

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho
10 posted 2000-04-25 05:56 PM


I don't think I've ever read a poem that more vividly describes anguish than this one.  Heartbreakingly well written.  It tears at me fiercely.  The last four lines are so starkly painful.  Excellent, terribly sad poem.

Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
11 posted 2000-04-25 06:01 PM


This was like a baseball bat to the jaw -- I wish there were more poetic words to describe it, but if there are, I cannot seem to find them ...

Powerful, raw, uncompromising -- in a word -- WOW!  

--Me

mariee66
Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596
Recess, OfYourMind
12 posted 2000-04-25 06:04 PM


I have felt this anguish which you write of so well~
Your talent never ceases to amaze me~
Marie~

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
13 posted 2000-04-26 01:00 AM


Michael,

this feels like panic to me, the panic of fear and desperation.

And you paint this portrait way too well, a place where one shouldn't for too long dwell.

Peace, my friend.

Corinne

netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
14 posted 2000-04-26 01:05 AM


Michael, you are an awesome poet.
The way you write with your heart on
your pen --using perfect words describing
indescribable pain, and yet there it
sits -----anquish ------fear ------

I hope whatever your pain is, my friend,
that you never have to face it again.

netswan

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2000-04-26 01:14 AM


Michael~

Raw and gripping.


'fear guides me
and always
I follow.'

Uniquely you.
~*Marge*~




 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
16 posted 2000-04-26 02:17 AM


Gasping in awe, I sit here humbled by the brutal intensity of your devotion to the art of emotion Michael. Somehow this piece speaks to me more than any save one you've written, (Porcelian Knight.) And that you've strayed from your normal formats into the realm of free verse only makes this piece that much stronger. Take a bow my friend, for you're recieveing a standing ovation.
lucky
Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601
Idaho
17 posted 2000-04-26 02:25 AM


Michael

Man oh man, can you heave a heartfull. It's awful to think anyone would ever know such. Again, you've put it together all to well.

 

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

18 posted 2000-04-26 02:32 AM


Exactly.


Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
19 posted 2000-04-26 04:01 AM


Dear sweet Michael - I read your poem, not once but twice - the intensity of it and the anguish it conveys is awesome. I wish you days filled with sunshine and happiness to follow.  

Roniece

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
20 posted 2000-04-26 04:04 AM


me again!  Michael, can you please tell me if any of your work has been published in hardcopy?  You are an extremely talented poet and I would so enjoy being able to purchase a copy of your writings.

Roniece

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
21 posted 2000-04-26 07:20 AM


Just wanted to say thank you to each and all of you for such gracious replies.

Jason, I think I need to invest in an inhaler...  

rene, LOL at the hair...  

denise, it is a horrible way to live.  i am glad you are beyond that now.  

Jefferey, thanks, bud.  I hope that was "horrofying" in a good way...LOL

Daysleeper, thank you, that is quite the compliment.

Krista, as your words always seem to do me.    

serenity, seems to be my problem of late too...  maybe we should do a yoga class together or something.

kess, batter up....next, LOL, thanks dear

netswan, Unfortuantely it's a pain that never goes away.  Just part of who I am.

Corinne, PANIC - Indeed.

Marge, me unique?...na - just different...LOL

Christopher, I am feeling quite "porcelain"
of late...  

Lucky, sincerest thanks.

Claire, *sigh* - I know

Roniece, nothing in print yet - working on it though.


Michael

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