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Open Poetry #7
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Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704


0 posted 2000-06-09 10:51 PM


It is remarkable

     and you

I catch that word
turn it inside

     shivered out

and I have scuffed the fallen leaves
stared at the sky darkly covered
with clouds of my own mind

    wandered wondering
    where
    it is I am

felt the dirt beneath me
like my soul

     a fitting emptiness I see
     all around

so many faces
revolve my edges
unknowing
they can’t see the sunlit air
as I

     you stand
     occupying spaces
     I familiarised long ago

it is remarkable
it is floodly fallen

     a dream

to here I will run
and the wind will bend
an open sky
might carry me

     it is the beat
     of one day

soon I say
when next to the space of years

   it is release
   relived
  
and relieved



 'One day maybe you will see the land
Touch skin with sand
You've been swimming in the lonely sea
With no company

Oh, don't you want to find?
Can't you hear this beauty in life?
The roads, the highs, breaking up your life
Can't you hear this beauty in life?'

~The Verve~


© Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
1 posted 2000-06-09 11:03 PM


"when next to the space of years"

Yes. A lot of tiem related subjects here lately. Interesting to say the least. This line K., (and of course I loved all of them) caught me up. It shows in one breath the virulence of relativity. When a space of an instant is shadowed by the whisper of a decade, that instant seems not so deafening anymore, not so heavy.

Much to ponder here little butterfly. And I will of course, because your words always do that to me!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-06-09 11:30 PM


HI BUTTERFLY SLIPPERS ICON SHARER  

what is remarkable is this poem...
its presentation is perfect
and its emotions
are pure and hauntingly beautiful
excellent writing Kam,
truly effecting words
later-slipper-gator
jm

 I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm just scared - that I know too much
I can't relate and that's a problem
I'm feeling ...
If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home
cuz there's a little bit of something me...
In everything in you.
~MB20~

"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
~Lao Tze Tao~
~Butterflies are meant to be free~


netswan
Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369
Washington
3 posted 2000-06-09 11:38 PM


This is lovely and has great imaginary
imagery

~netswan

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 2000-06-09 11:46 PM


You certainly do know how to set a mood, Kamla....another exquisite piece  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2000-06-10 12:45 PM


Wow...understated and powerful at the same time....like "floodly fallen"....mmmm...
reads like a feather and hits with a bang...
"remarkable"  yerself, here...

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2000-06-10 12:42 PM


Kamla, both this poem and yourself are remarkable!!!    

 Je t'aime plus qu'hier et moins que demain."
I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow
(unkown)



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
7 posted 2000-06-10 12:51 PM


I read this twice, each time I was left shunned.

you stand
     occupying spaces
     I familiarised long ago

it is remarkable
it is floodly fallen

a wonderful poem, great atmosphere.    


 ------------------------
"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Outside open mouthed crowds Pass each other as if they're drugged
Down pale corridors of routine Where life falls unatoned "

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.




Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2000-06-10 04:47 PM


Kamla~
Absolute beauty in your words.
Gifted you are.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Trew
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
9 posted 2000-06-10 05:02 PM


There are just so many images.
Beautifully sculpted.
Especially fond of "felt the dirt beneath me like my soul".
Just great...

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