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Open Poetry #7
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Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2000-05-08 07:59 PM


Hollow emptiness
Echoes
Through the chamber
Of my heart.

Cold
Nothingness
Warms my
Tainted skin.

Fingers
Of lost hope
Caress my skin
As the darkness
At last
Settles in.
< !signature-->

 When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shodows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face...

William Butler Yeats


[This message has been edited by Marilyn (edited 05-08-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Marilyn - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2000-05-08 08:09 PM


This one grabs ya, that's for sure Marilyn.  God, I know this feeling.  "Emotional Death" Trying to think of a title - maybe "numb".
Good poem.


Michael

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2000-05-08 08:14 PM


Marilyn~
This is so sadly written.
It deserves a pretty title ...
how about Echoes Of My Heart ?

Great big *HUGS* to you.
It is lovely ... though a heart-breaker.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2000-05-08 08:19 PM


This packs a punch of sadness in a few short lines...how about "echoes" ?
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 2000-05-08 08:54 PM


Wow, much said in few words...got to agree that this packs a punch. How about "Stone Cold Caress"
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
5 posted 2000-05-08 09:48 PM


Darkness Revisted?
or
Darkness An Old Friend?

So sad Maz hugs from your Aussie sister  

 A heart and soul are not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

6 posted 2000-05-08 09:52 PM


Excellent poem, Marilyn. Very sad   How about 'Nothingness' or 'Echoes of Nothingness'?

Denise

Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
7 posted 2000-05-08 09:55 PM


Short, powerful poem Marilyn.  The pain shines through in poetic beauty, I feel much the same... How about "Frozen Echoes" for a title?

 Abrahm Simons

"You...
You are so special
You have the talent
To make me feel like Dirt" - Alice in Chains, "Dirt"

Jeffrey Carter
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Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
8 posted 2000-05-08 09:59 PM


Powerful...how about "Echoes of an empty heart"?

All my love,
Jeffrey

 I lie awake in a world filled with dreams,
but dreams can be so real when you don't know you're asleep


Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London
9 posted 2000-05-08 11:13 PM


Hi Marilyn ... very sad poem you've written
... the only title that comes to mind
is
'Echoe Chamber'

Rex}>{{{{o>

Marilyn
Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621
Ontario, Canada
10 posted 2000-05-09 04:09 PM


Michael...I know you can relate to this piece. It is something I never thought would happen to me. I wouldn't let myself get involved in something that would strike that final blow. It seems I was mistaken and have again felt emotional destruction. Maybe someday I will find something that will build me up instead of tearing me down. Until then I must cling to what can keep me a float.  

Marg..thankyou and thankyou for the title suggestion.  

Martie...Thanks for the input.

Ruth...The inspiration for this took the wind right out of me...so I guess this should hit hard.

Isis...thanks for the ideas my sister.   And thanks for the ear. ((hug))

Thankyou Denise...for everything and especially for your concern. ((hug))

Abe...I am glad that you could feel this.  

Jeffrey...Thanks for the input and for the kudo's.  

Rex....Writing is a way for me to empty my pain. I am glad it comes through in my words.  


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