One Night in Valparaiso - pipTalk Forums

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gringakiwi
Member

since 2003-08-05

Posts 189

0 posted 2003-08-07 09:35 AM

From the distance floats music from Spanish guitars,
we sit side by side contemplating the stars.
he tells me of history, poems and law,
political struggles, religion and war.

He speaks with a passion which comes from the heart,
as his luminous skin sets a glow in the dark.
How great it would be if tonight I could die,
while being caressed by his romantic eyes.

A chime from the church tells the city it's late,
but the hour has no meaning as minutes don't wait,
the twinkling stars spread their light through the leaves
as the trees cast dark shadows and moonlight recedes.

The night pulls us closer as soft the rain falls,
his voice lights a path along streets of stone walls,
I dont want to stay but I dont want to lie,
my soul is held captive by romantic eyes.

The warmth of his body relaxed next to mine,
I forget all the past, I forget all the wine,
the future disappears and I start to pretend
that because we're together, this night will not end.

Now I smile as I think of the moments which pass,
the time that we spend seems to flow by so fast,
He says he will wait as I say "please don't cry"
but the teardrops cascade from his romantic eyes.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

1 posted 2003-08-07 10:14 AM

Welome!!!!!

What a great poem you have picked for your first here! I really enjoyed reading it and look forward to more!

Susan C.

gringakiwi
Member

since 2003-08-05

Posts 189

2 posted 2003-08-07 10:48 AM

Thanks Susan! I am really nervous, as I have never shown anyone my poems before- I just discovered this wonderful forum the other day! I am really looking forward to improving my poetry and reading everyone else's work, sorry if I am a little rusty- please guide me!

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

3 posted 2003-08-07 12:28 PM

Very pretty. A real treat to read! Lovely!

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

4 posted 2003-08-07 01:09 PM

Connie,

Do not be nervous! This is a wonderful site with a huge amount of wonderful people! As for your work..it was beautifully descriptive..keep writing and responding and before you know it..you will feel like you have always lived here.

Susan C.

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

5 posted 2003-08-07 01:31 PM

Connie,

Wow! I feel as if I have just read a famous poet here. I know I have definately read a famous poet in the making.

I am very glad you have decided to share your words with us as well as your heart. I hope you enjoy your new home here at Pip and will start to feel like a part of the family we have here.

Please check your e mail for a very special welcome.

Dawn

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

6 posted 2003-08-07 04:55 PM

This is really great! It sounds as if it could be set to music. Romantic guitars!
Good atmsophere and I really enjoyed it. Hope you will make this site your home!
Welcome!

Betty Lou Hebert

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2003-08-07 06:12 PM

Connie~
Welcome to the Corner Pub at Passions~

This is a BEAUTIFULLY written piece~

See you hail from down under ... welcome Zealander~

My bestest little buddy in the whole wide world has the same last name as you~
I KNOW we're going to become poetic buddies !!
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

8 posted 2003-08-07 06:33 PM

Hi Connie, welcome. This is a nice poem

Hope to hear from you more.

Love,
Vivian

Eliza Simmons
~Every girl has a dream within.
~Yesterday insult, today gain.

gringakiwi
Member

since 2003-08-05

Posts 189

9 posted 2003-08-07 09:32 PM

Thanks everyone for making me feel so welcome!- I am so looking forward to hanging out with everyone here at the corner pub!

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

10 posted 2003-08-11 12:23 PM

Yikes... I wasn't expecting something like this from you.  Opening it up and seeing blocky poetry was enough to make me grin right off... I'm an even-stanzas person myself and that let me enjoy the poem a lot more.  Your tight rhyme scheme and casual metric flow really gave the poem a beautiful lyric quality.

Your way of phrasing things describes something that is popular as subject matter, but without resorting to cliche... the result is a rather impressive piece of poetry.  I was especially pleased with the ending, which describes the man crying, but ends on the note that his eyes are "romantic."  Lovely choice of words.

I'll have an eye out for your work.  Again, welcome to piptalk and I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

Parasite

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

11 posted 2003-08-11 04:55 PM

A nice silky flow...enjoyed...James

edwreck02
Junior Member

since 2003-08-08

Posts 24
Florida

12 posted 2003-08-12 11:07 AM

WOW!!!

That is an amazing poem...I cant wait to see whats next..

Solstice Son
Member

since 2000-09-19

Posts 469

13 posted 2003-08-12 12:43 PM

mmmm lovely poem....nodnodnod!!!

" and I dream of her always,
even when I don't dream.
her name's on my tongue
and her blood's in my stream."

'Christmas in Prison' John Prine

Magia_negra
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 77
CA, USA

14 posted 2003-08-14 05:05 PM

Beautiful poem, very vivid, very romantic... What a mood!

...somos los locos para siempre
para siempre te amo
mi vida...

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

15 posted 2003-08-14 07:50 PM

Very nice romantic poem. Welcome to our corner. Joyce

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