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Dimming Light (Please comment)
| Corner Pub #2 |
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Dimming Light (Please comment) |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind 
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----------------------------------------------- Dimming Light I'm going I'm going To a place unknown. So much fear I'm scared So much fear That I want the clock To stop And live on present...forever. I'm going I'm going But I'm afraid; I'm scared That my lamp that Taking care of my soul Will go dim, Dimmer, and dimmer each day. Faith, what it is? Faith, where it's from? Would I... Ever find it... I'm going I'm going But I'm lack of faith...I fear... I fear that I've to stand alone. So alone that I cry... Cry... what a tear is worth? Cry... does anybody care? Care about somebody outside their folks, Nuture her out of their needs... I'm going I'm going But I'm nobody without my folks...I'm a nobody A nobody outside my shelter... I'm frighten that That someday I need to stand... Stand alone, depend on no one else... Stand... Stand alone... (c)Mar 7, 2003 Eliza Simmons ----------------------------------------------- ~Every girl has a dream within. [This message has been edited by aries_luv_ppl (03-07-2003 11:15 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Eliza Simmons - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Eliza it" fine, but try it with out the words in parenthesis. See how that goes. I think it is very clear and more crisp without them. Joyce |
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Trillium
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098Idaho, USA |
Eliza: You are "somebody"! You need to concentrate on that. You may be a part of your folks, but you function on your own. They don't write your poetry or go to school for you, or do any of the things you do to take care of yourself. I think I've mentioned this before, but you are really much too hard on yourself. In the final analysis, we are all "alone". You'll make it and do fine, but you need to have more faith in who you are as a person. We all see you as a!student and poet and someone nice to know! Betty Lou Hebert |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Eliza - I agree with Joyce. It's an interesting write. But, make sure that you check your spelling ( I know I have to)before you post. You are doing quite well. hugs, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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