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Open Poetry #8
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Slow Morning
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Slow Morning |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Slow Morning It's a slow morning, eyes heavy with pain, tired of this sleeplessness. The sun begins to burn, singeing lashes once so lovely. Hiding now in depths of you, releasing all that's bottled. Stomach screams for nourishment, but the taste is all too bitter. Not wanting, but needing. Weakness takes over, limp and so powerless, so vulnerable like this. It's a slow morning, eyes reddened from the stale air, open too long and burning. Mind racing to catch it all, to control and be so aware. If I am needed now, I could not withhold my position. Thankful to be alone, to have responsibility for just me. I am not capable of caring for you, or another, as long as this stands. It's a slow morning... and my fingers bleed. |
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| © Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Very nicely written, I enjoyed reading it alot  |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
This is deep.....trying to take it all in and firgure out what it all means.....Great writing....Thanks for the post!  Julie :) |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
great read, my friend. i know the feeling of being up too long. wanting to sleep, but the pills not letting a fatigued body rest. this was real good. great imagery. "the singeing lashes" and "it's a slow morning and my fingers bleed." my favorite parts. and the other person, the one the narrator can't care for because the responsibility of himself is too much... i dig it. simply put, i dig it. keep it up. =)< !signature--> We all got somethin' we need to atone for. [This message has been edited by Ethan_Halo (edited 06-19-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
GIRL THIS IS EXCELLENT!!! wow...the depth of emotion in this.. the depth of the ache ... this is one of your strongest and well written poems... you've got some incredible lines in here!! "If I am needed now, I could not withhold my position. Thankful to be alone," very cool poem Spitfire...very and that last line...perfect as is the title and its meaning thru out the poem take care, jm |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
It's a slow morning, eyes heavy with pain, tired of this sleeplessness. The sun begins to burn, singeing lashes once so lovely. Hiding now in depths of you, releasing all that's bottled. I was going to say it sounds like a typical monday until I read the rest of the poem. Excellently written, makes me wish I will not wake up in the morning. a powerful poem, take care and I hope everthing is ok. Not wanting, but needing. Weakness takes over, limp and so powerless, so vulnerable like this. It's a slow morning, eyes reddened from the stale air, open too long and burning. Mind racing to catch it all, to control and be so aware. ------------------------ "WE IRISH ARE TOO POETIC TO BE POETS, WE ARE A NATION OF BRILLIANT FAILURES." Oscar Wilde. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
SpitFire Very deep, and profound poem this!!! Enjoyed reading... regards, Sudhir |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Thank you all so much for reading. I first thought that maybe this belonged in the dark room (which is where most of my writing is)..but decided it could go here. ~Whiskey,thank you for reading. ~JulieAnn,thank you for taking it a step further. ~Ethan Halo,thank you for diggin' it.hehe. ~Janet Marie,wow, thank you for that awesome reply. ~Brian,thank you for reading and your bit of concern,..so sweet. ~Sudhir,thank you for the profound...and for taking the time. *Peace. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
(SNAP!)  "Zzzzzz" Your wheel has a flat spot so you will have to send your board in to the garage for repairs. This will give you extra time in your schedule to nap and catch up on your sleep. When I count to three you will wake up and go have a nap. Do you understand? "*Peace my Lord" 1 Your pillow is still insect 2 You will sleep naked tonight 3 (SNAP!) Your eyes look heavy with pain today SpitFire. Go ahead have a small sleep if you need one. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Oh Insect,...a flat spot huh? Bummer,...but thank you the rest was well needed. So is it fixed?...I just had a new deck put on it and I am a bit anxious to get out there. hehe. I slept,...it's you. So thanks. It must be. ~Oh, btw...hope everything is ok with you. Your last post was a lil' sad.  . Take care. *Peace. (haha). |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
SF, SF, my dear friend...great writing here. I know you will find the rest for your weary heart soon. It will come in time. Hang in there and keep on writing. It will help you. LW Friends are friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never cause the welcome will not end. --Michael W. Smith |
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