navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » In her presence...
Open Poetry #8
Post A Reply Post New Topic In her presence... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2000-06-14 01:29 AM


“Now I shall spy on beauty as none has
spied on it yet...”—V. Nabokov (from Pale Fire)

***

I’ve walked through mazes, labyrinths
and webs.
I’ve sat in churches listening to hymns
and seeking essence.
But if I ever loved,-- then in her presence;
if ever I heard God,-- then in her steps.

A perfect symmetry of strangeness
and of beauty,--
Her skin complexion changes
with the light.
I’ve never saw a star this close, this bright,--
I’ve never loved before, -- now it’s my duty...
< !signature-->

 Check out my poetry here:

http://cafepoetry.com/stage1/andrey_kneller.htm#My%20Hamlet



[This message has been edited by Master (edited 06-14-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-06-14 01:52 AM


Wow...(not my suggested title, smile)

But I love this much, like the spirituality and combined sensuality...struck me as a Devotional...just one word, but it is what struck me...

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
2 posted 2000-06-14 01:55 AM


Okay, so I'll admit I'm not much help when it comes to giving this a title. I loved the poem though.   It was very touching.


 Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau"



JulieAnn
Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754
Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!!
3 posted 2000-06-14 04:09 AM


I don't know what I would call this....it struck as a sort of fantasy.....of passion??? I don't know but I liked it alot!!!! Julie

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2000-06-14 04:13 AM


"I've never seen a star before this close, this bright."   Enjoyed reading this poem and I suggest "A Perfect Symmetry" or "A Perfect Match"....  James
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2000-06-14 06:42 AM


Master~
Quietly spoken awe.

I would suggest 'Then In Her Presence'.
~*Marge*~


 ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
6 posted 2000-06-14 06:50 AM


Master,
Enjoyed this one as many others from you...

as for the title, maybe this one seems suitable:
"In presence of my bright star" or simply
"In presence".

btw, I am not very good at selecting titles...

Many regards,
Sudhir

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

7 posted 2000-06-14 07:00 AM


I just read this over and over, it's lovely, I'm not very good at titles either but I would agree with James I like "A Perfect Symmetry"

 Kathleen

"How do I love thee? Let
me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning



Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
8 posted 2000-06-14 12:47 PM


Thank you for your suggestions, I'm still not convinced, but I think I'm going to use Marge's suggestion... Thanks everyone!
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

9 posted 2000-06-14 02:51 PM


because of the way you began it was gonna say "Lost in her presence" but I like marge's better   great poem
Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
10 posted 2000-06-14 03:48 PM


Than you for responding Corazon!
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
11 posted 2000-06-14 03:56 PM


Master.....wow. a wonderful poem. beautiful.
perfect.



 ------------------------
"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."

E.E Cummings.

"Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso

"You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating



-----





Master
Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867
Boston, MA
12 posted 2000-06-14 05:52 PM


Thank you Brian, btw I love those quotes!
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #8 » In her presence...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary