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Open Poetry #8
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Candy Heart....... (this is not a love poem)
| Open Poetry #8 |
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Candy Heart....... (this is not a love poem) |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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Tongues of laughter overshadow all my vile thoughts. I slid my hands to meet your eyes and worship your recess. Vanquish onto your spread legs, the blessed scarred my appetite. On Sundaes cherry syrup, we feasted with rotten teeth. Draped down on grassy green embrace me my sweet heart and let me drink from your honey lips. In truth you’ll only end up being betrayed. I cry dependencies upon your flowered dress, to nostalgic flowerbed swoop down sparrows and shed me all your tears, count your blessings on necklace pearls. Gone are the blessed years, of all your dolly friends and piggy tail innocence. Your mother grew you as her sweetness. Your little plastic toys taught you anorexia as you held in your mind their ideals of beauty. With the grace of weeping women you rose and pruned your flower. Lend me your bud so supple and full, embracing the skeletal stalks, blessed on to yours as from the mouth of babies. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. manic street preachers "Culture Alienation Borebom and Despair" "I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing" -faster MSP "And you see, I kind of shiver to conformity Did you see, the way I cower to authority, you see And my life, it's a series of compromises anyway It's a sham, and I'm conditioned to accept it all, you see" six by Paul Draper. ----- |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow Brian ... left me feeling a little flushed there. Wow again ... excellent flow and imagery! By the way, did I say exceptional in amongst the wows??? Wow! Best wishes, /Kit |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Guess not!!! LOL. Holy Moly,...have you got quite a piece here. Well,...it sounds a bit like that of a falling into a temptation. What vividly dark descriptions you have. How hauntingly thought provoking. This here freaks me a bit....which is good BTW for poetry to do anything of this kind to me....to affect me in any way...."in truth you’ll only end up being betrayed"...that has got me thinking. Once again,..kick me if I'm way off....or you could just simply let me gather my own thoughts about it. hehe.  . Once again,...your writing has amazed me. This is some deep poetry and I enjoyed reading it. *Peace.~BTW,...replied to short poems 3 in dark 1. .[This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 06-13-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
ok, no, not a love poem, but a "life" poem...life is not sweet, nor easy, good writing |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this was very, very passionate. Kathleen "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace." Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
This was good....need i say more?? Good work.. Julie |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
oh me head hurts  you scare me lolim gonna need some help with this one... and some Tylenol lol you went deep for this little beauty... but then you always do... later-hurtmehead-gator EVE And it's good that I'm not angry, I just need to get over, I'm not angry, anymore Cry when you cry, run when you run, love when you love, represent the ashes that you leave behind ~MB20~ "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" ~Lao Tze Tao~ ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Kit, thanks for your wonderful reply. Spitfire, ok don't want to give too much away but I guess you could say it is my version of Lolita. The poem is from the view point of someone who views as young girl (who is coming of age) as purely as an object of lust. He is appealing to her childlike innocence hence the images of syrup and just general weird images. It is also about how dolls enforce negative stereotypes on young girls and that the guy views the girl as really just a doll. I also saw your response to the short poems. Thanks for reading and replying to both. Corazon, thanks for your lovely reply. Irish Rose, oh dear I hope you don't think that is the way I get passionate. LOL But thanks for your reply. I am much more romantic and sweet than that. Julie, thanks for your wonderful reply. Jan, break out the Tylenol and we can have a party. Well just wait till they get a load of my opus, " chapel.." that should cause a few migraines. LOL thanks for your wonderful reply. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating ----- |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
engrossing i call this and thats a good word of course |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Whew! A true roller coaster ride here, full of extreme images from sweet to downright angry, the deflowering of innocence and your take on a woman who is a product of this society's pressures. Did I get that right? Corinne |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This is a very good piece, Brian. Keep it up! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Brian I don't know what in hell you are talking about here but I only read twice. Vengence involved? I read enough to know you write an excellent poem, even if I can't understand it. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Walt..lol engrossing is a great word, and one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me. Thanks for your great reply. Corinne, 100% correct. Wow. thanks for your wonderful reply. Nate Dogg thanks for your wonderful response. ethome, I refer you to Corinne's response, "the deflowering of innocence and your take on a woman who is a product of this society's pressures." thanks for your wonderful reply. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "You do not destroy an idea by killing people; you replace it with a better one". Edward Keating ----- |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Well, I missed it once, missed it twice, but then finally caught up to this one and boy! Am I glad!!! Very much enjoyed.... Regards, sudhir... My heart is pounding, my stomach's inside out I'm feeling kind-a-shaky, my mind is full of doubt All I ever think about, is fearing fear itself, Wish I could unscrew my head and put it on the shelf Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Don't know what I'm looking at, the lights are all too bright My brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor Sweep 'em up. Throw 'em away, don't want 'em anymore Clouds race across the sky, day turns into night, Still there are the questions, no answers in sight Everything is twisted, everything is oh so tight, Starin' out the window, everything is just too bright Brain's about to crumble, spill out on the floor, Wish I could unscrew my head, and kick it out the door... You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange You know I'm feeling kind-a....Strange ~ Strange ~ Joe Satriani (Flying in a Blue Dream) |
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redheart angrybraids Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 410honolulu, hawaii |
this is stunning. as fluent as the necklace pearls. kindly, redheart angrybraids |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Brian* This was written with such amazing strength, The travels in life are not easy nor are they pretty at times. Your descriptions were amazing and cut deeply. Thank you for sharing this, awesome work! |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Brian, usually I never have trouble finding the words to express myself, but this left me speechless...in a good way. Thank you for writing and posting this universal piece. Applause! Heck, I'll give you a standing ovation. It's good to see that a man understands the pressures that women and teenage girls face. And, we all lose our innocence, but it seems more shocking for "sweet girls" to grow up jaded by society's views than it is for men. My favourite lines: "Gone are the blessed years of your dolly friends and piggy tail innocence. Your Mother grew you as her sweetness, your little plastic toys taught you anorexia as you held in your mind their ideals of beauty." This is a dark, raw, unique, extremely creative poem. I absolutely love it. It leaves the reader with a bitter taste in their mouths, knowing that they too have succomb to this in some sense of the word - excellent technique. Having had an eating disorder and facing the many problems that women face, this poem speaks volumes for me, this poem is excellent! You've inspired me to re-post a poem of mine. Take care, Melissa Honeybee [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 06-15-2000).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Brian~ this is really amazing.....it sounds rough and harsh but so much truth to it. I had to read it a couple times. I didn't get it 100% until I read Corinne's reply and yours to her. -SEA |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
Brian, you are indeed a talented poet! Marina |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Brian, This is one of those days my mind takes forever to process anything so now that I have read this AWESOME peice of work im brain dead as to what to say, but I am so glad I talked to you that night because I love your poerty...... Love, Cerenity |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Well written and stated, Brian, as usual. jwesley |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Bump! C'mon poets, read this unique piece! Hey, Brian, can I be your manager, since I'm in a good mood, I'll only take 70% Melissa [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 06-16-2000).] |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Sudhir, thanks for your wonderful response. Redheart thanks your kind words Butterflies, I agree that life is not always sweet and innocence is something that some people seek to destroy. Thanks for your wonderful reply. Melissa, thank you for the standing ovation. It brightened my day. But I think everyone at the site deserves a standing ovation. I agree with you that society imposed a lot of terrible stereotypes on women. I never been into sweetening up the truth, I perfer tos how it in all its biter glory. Thanks for your wonderful response. I look forward to reading your poem. Sea Thank you for reading and replying. Marina, thank you but I am also in the company of a very talented bunch of poets. Cerenity, sorry I know I tend to cause migranes with my poems. LOL. Yes I am really glad we chatted that night and that you showed me the way here. Thanks again, for the chat and for your reply. jwesley, thanks for your lovely reply. Melissa, 70% phew. I don't know, Ok 70% of the 30% I was going to give you for manger fees. LOL I am off to read your poem now. Thanks again to everyone. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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