navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » So Close
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic So Close Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
kimmy
Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 98


0 posted 2000-12-13 05:34 PM


So close
So far
Toes Over
Keep balance
Eyes moving
right, left
up, down
Mouth open
Voice screams
Tears fall
Moisten cheeks
Lips quiver
Hand reaches
Grip ledge
One step
Two step
Safe indoors
Close glass
Shut drapes
Quiet sigh
Still alive.


© Copyright 2000 kimmy - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-12-13 06:07 PM


This was so compelling! I loved this poem. A sense of suspense.......great job on this one.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them!


Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
2 posted 2000-12-13 09:41 PM


Very powerful, precise wording here!  I liked how it flowed, it definitely made it intense. Well done!  

*Krista Knutson*

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar."
Helen Keller


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
3 posted 2000-12-14 03:54 PM


Krista stole my word, I was going to say that this was intense!  So I guess that must be proof to you, since two people had the same thought.  nice job with the poem

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » So Close

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary