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Teen Poetry #3
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My soul rushes forward...
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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My soul rushes forward... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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My soul rushes forward, the world holds me back. Gravitational pull is the pull of your sack... What do I carry? -- Cold stars and a flag -- Worn out flag of the country I left All the rest is not mine, but is clinging to me -- It’s the fate of the slaves to hold back the free. And I lack a reply to the question, “to be?” -- Not daring to drop off my heft. If only my arms could lift me like letters, I’d take Cupid’s arrows and spread them like feathers And rise to the words of “Nothing else matters...” And learn from the stars how to gleam. But the battery’s dead and my headphones are broken I did not get the gist of the words that they’ve spoken. As the day just began, I was rudely awoken, -- Cut off from my wonderful dream. As for now, 3 PM and my day’s just beginning 3:15 -- Wash the dishes, 3:50 -- dry cleaning Grains of sand hit the bottom and cover the meaning Of the hourglass, -- deep like your eyes. A quarter to five, there’s a date with the Muse A quarter to seven, I can’t miss the news. Then a note to oneself, “have to purchase new shoes; Need a photo -- a milk carton size...” |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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mickel2995 Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 48 |
Wow, that's all I can say, i'm speechless. EXCELLENT,EXCELLENT!! Micale |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow..you are the one poet that can always leave me speechless. Each piece is better than the last, it's amazing. I loved this  ~Susie "If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "Driftwood" |
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Lucius Cade Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 235Saskatchewan |
Wow, great poem. I didnt really understand these lines though, It’s the fate of the slaves to hold back the free. And I lack a reply to the question, “to be?” -- other then that I loved the whole thing. Lucidity is the answer to all problems |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a beautiful poem, my friend. I love the style you wrote it in, also. It flows so well. Great job. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you everyone for your comments, Lucious, to explain those two lines i would have to explain the whole poem, which I would rather not... just try to read the whole stanza, maybe you'll get it. |
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Novacaine For The Soul Member
since 2000-05-26
Posts 122New Orleans |
dear master, brilliant... beautiful... your control of the language astounds me... the meter is flawless and the depth is incredible... i'd comment more, but it would only serve to taint an already outstanding work of literary art... sincerely, a sad tomato you're such a beautiful freak... i wish there were more just like you... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you, I'm not worthy of your compliments! |
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Kandi Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354North of Hell |
Omigosh...words fail me. Your writing is exactly the kind that I hope I can someday write myself, although right now I'm nowhere near up to your level. But you are truly inspiring and talented, and if I could think of stronger adjectives to describe this poem, I'd write them now. Perfect wording. Absolutely brilliant. I am not worthy (lol )Much Love Kristin ~*All that I have found in reason is reason just to not believe *~ ~*Things you see the way you see them will never be seen again*~ |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Kristen thank you for such a warm reply... Your writing will get better as you go along, it took me three years and some 300 poems to get to where I am (and I'm by no means a great poet)... Keep writing! |
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