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Teen Poetry #3
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qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY

0 posted 2000-09-04 09:41 AM


NO RETURN

Darkness within
Brightness without
Shadowed by a,
cloud of doubt.
Am I still living,
deep inside?
Lacking pain,
that I hide.
Sharp razor,
not even a flinch.
Trickling blood,
just from a pinch.
Life's a blur,
death sounds clear.
No more need,
to ever fear!
Death welcomes me,
life turns away.
No longer easy,
for me to stay.
I walk toward death,
he grabs my hand.
Life's slipping,
like hourglass sand.
When the last grain,
comes tumbling down,
I change my mind,
& turn around.
Is it too late?
Have I givin in?
Did he take my soul?
I'm now dead within!

<3ELMO<3


© Copyright 2000 ¢¾ KT ¢¾ - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2000-09-04 01:14 PM


I liked the whole poem....the ending is a bit shady....but i think the poem in general kicks serious ass buddy. I like the way it was written. You keep it up.....you're a talented writer.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.


qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
2 posted 2000-09-04 02:23 PM


Thanx I appreciate your honesty, do u have any suggestions for a more powerful ending? LOVE ELMO <3  
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
3 posted 2000-09-04 02:41 PM


Wow elmo!!!This is good!!!It left me speechless...I cant wait to see more of your work...I rarely see you here anymore though...But I know where to find you!!!LOL

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


qtpieelmo
Senior Member
since 2000-07-04
Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY
4 posted 2000-09-04 07:38 PM


Thanx Erin I'm surprised I left such an impact on you. Yea I don't write here much. Dark Passions is more my style, you'll find a lot more of my work there LOVE ELMO  
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