navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » tawny
Dark Poetry #2
Post A Reply Post New Topic tawny Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Cowgirl Jane
New Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 8


0 posted 2000-06-15 02:24 PM



tawny tassels flying,
large black sequins flashing,
skirt riding high,
I approached you.

My faux eye glasses perched,
lusty in their red glittered frames....

Lenses reflecting you.

I moved hippily to your table,
Leaned onto its top,
And,dropping a
mini-globe of sweat
onto my forearm,
Said,

breathlessly,

"Hello."



© Copyright 2000 Cowgirl Jane - All Rights Reserved
Portia
Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157

1 posted 2000-06-15 03:55 PM


A very sexy, breathy first poem... welcome. I enjoyed this a great deal.
gothicmoth
Member
since 2000-06-05
Posts 89

2 posted 2000-06-15 04:16 PM


Yes welcome! This elicited quite a discussion between Portia and myself. I love the rhythm and the image. Keep up the great work.
ChibiDeathscythe
Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 128

3 posted 2000-06-15 04:42 PM


Oooh, spicy lol. I loved the image, a very sexy poem.
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
4 posted 2000-06-16 12:01 PM


Welcome to Passions!!  Loved the flow and feel to this, a woman in command and in control.  Go girl!!  Keep it up  

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

5 posted 2000-06-16 08:26 AM


Hi!    Loved it!! lol  Imagery from youth?
lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
6 posted 2000-06-16 10:06 AM


Yes. This is really snappy, conveying all the excitement of the moment. I think it's particularly effective when you cut it off there, with the "hello".

Hi, and Welcome, BTW!

 Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland


Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp
7 posted 2000-06-17 01:56 AM


You want to dance?? hahaha.
welcome to passions.
This is an entrance wow. haha
love the feel, I guess any man would. haha
GREAT.... keep it coming.

Joel.

 I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel.

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S
8 posted 2000-06-18 02:03 AM


this is a great and wonderful poem. i long to read more of your work. and but yes welcome to the world of dark passions

I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul


Cowgirl Jane
New Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 8

9 posted 2000-06-22 10:25 AM


Thanks to all for the feedback. It is much appreciated.  )
--Jane

Colin
Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596
Callington, Cornwall, England
10 posted 2000-06-22 05:51 PM


Hello   Uhmm I mean welcome to passions in poetry  

Eric.

"We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka.

Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
11 posted 2000-06-22 05:58 PM


HEY, I remember you!!  Let's see...was it San Francisco, no...Denver, no.....uhh, was it Puerto Rico...no.....oh now I know:  It was ALL those places!!!  Thanks for bringing back some good memories to an old sailor...LOL    Super poem...loved it. Hardrock
kynder
Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537
Tallahassee, Florida
12 posted 2000-06-22 06:16 PM


so vivid this one!! i know there are a few male poets up in here with hearts racing and blood pounding after reading this one!!  great work!!!  welcome!

kynder

A woman to a man is
But a mere chapter,
But a man to a woman
Is an entire book.--
Kynder Howell

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2000-06-24 03:56 PM


Jane you have described my kind of waitress so perfectly...I almost felt like I was in the room...I wish I was there in the room...I'd like to have steak and eggs with rye toast...and lots of coffee...loved the way you wrote this...      James
Hardrock
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA
14 posted 2000-06-24 04:31 PM


I'm sorry, but I just loved this so much I had to come back and comment again.  It was so vivid, so descriptive.....I felt as if I was there.  I could almost smell the place.  This is a keeper....and should go into the book.  Super work........Hardrock
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #2 » tawny

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary