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stoned'
Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 14


0 posted 2000-10-23 03:38 PM



Like a convenient shortcut , I have been walked upon by him,
My whole being beholds the marks of his cruel footsteps,
I have been branded as unworthy , a dream no longer dreamt,
Like soft powdery sand , I have absorbed tears and pain
I have woken up to the bright sunlight, anticipating and carefree,
Only to be washed away by the cruel tides of his angry words,
Ever so bright and always dreaming,
Now I feel so old , like a ragged used doll
I too, have been bought and sold,
Like a story I have been read too many times,
My legend no longer intrigues him,
Like an old manuscript, the pages of my life are now yellow and stained,
I lie somewhere in those broken shelves of my fate
As dust silently creeps up on me,
I have been possessed and played by , like a favorite toy
Till twisted cracks of time rendered me boring and unassuming
I have been touched upon like silver ivory silk,
Now my threads have broken loose I have been torn apart,
I m no longer awaited ,like a season I have been loved once,
Like a stolen moment, he has left my existence meaningless
I have been hurt and wounded as if I were the enemy,
Now my wings have given up , nothing can carry me ashore,
Like hot dancing fire on cool water , I burn …
Tears of sparkling ambers have melted me into ashes
I was never even born ,till the day I met him , on my way to life,
Like a dark empty grave my life now screams,
Over my lost sanity , now I pathetically cry……



© Copyright 2000 stoned' - All Rights Reserved
firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia
1 posted 2000-10-23 04:07 PM


My gosh... how tormented is this writing... I love the comparisons, especially "Like a story I have been read too many times... my legend no longer intrigues him"...Beautifully done!

Crakker



catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
2 posted 2000-10-23 05:14 PM


Oh, it looks like you have just been through the same awful thing I have just been through. You sound so tormented here. I have about 10 poems in here on the same subject. You did this very powerfully, and with much emotion. I hope you feel better soon. Email me if you would like to "compare notes" on the losers...
Sandra

Lady Lost
Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 470

3 posted 2000-10-23 08:13 PM


This is one of the most powerful poems I have ever read...such tragedy; such emotion, so well written.  I am going through similar pain...you took the words right out of my mouth.  Awesome post.........beth
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
4 posted 2000-10-23 08:21 PM


Welcome to passions hon!!  This is an amazing graphic piece saying stuff I have longed to write for over two years!!  You have quite a gift glad you've decided to come and share it with us.
Bravo (loud applause)  
Isis

*Good will towards all beings is the highest religion*
~Isis~Goddess~~Sovereign of the Spirit~


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2000-10-24 06:43 PM


Poignantly felt...excellent writing...
fabulous...James

taramw
Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738

6 posted 2000-10-25 06:24 AM


Welcome to DP    Wow!  What a TREMENDOUS piece of writing!    I loved the words you used... it portrayed soooo much and allowed me to depict quite an image ... thank you for sharing it with us here!    Take care.
~ Tara ~

"A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish

Dedreia
Member
since 2000-07-10
Posts 172
Kokomo, Indiana, United States
7 posted 2000-10-25 01:42 PM


Welcome to the best place on the web!!!  What a wonderful piece of writing...I almost started crying because it hit so close to home.  Looking forward to more stuff from you.  Keep writing.  Dee  

"It doesn't matter who you love, or how you love, but that you love" Rod McKuen

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
8 posted 2000-10-25 04:20 PM


welocme. this was quite lovely. i loved all of your similes adn comparisons, especially the old book. i look forward to reading more.

jann elizabeth

If you can feel that staying human is worthwhile, even when it can't have any result whatever, you've beaten them.

-1984

Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
9 posted 2000-10-25 04:45 PM


Welcome to Passions, welcome to Dark Passions - this poem bleeds pain from the computer screen and into teh understanding of the reader. Sad and poignant, one to mark the memory.

Welcome again, hope you enjoy our family!

Christopher

Scarlet Lady
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242
Midwest
10 posted 2000-10-26 08:16 AM


Welcome to passions!  WOW what a great first post.  I definitely felt this one now as I read, and then as it happened to me too.  Thanks so much for putting it into words so wonderfully!  Hope to read more of your work in the future.  
Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

11 posted 2000-10-26 07:13 PM


powerfully written. God, i feel for you.

Like hot dancing fire on cool water ,
I burn …
Tears of sparkling ambers have melted me into ashes

an all consuming description of the pain.



Suzanne Arlene
Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377
Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2000-10-26 09:11 PM


Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned . Very nicely written.   Suzanne
stoned'
Junior Member
since 2000-10-23
Posts 14

13 posted 2000-10-27 05:05 AM


Thanks everyone,for your comments and support, it means a lot!And thanx for the card Christopher..a nice feature,my poem actually looks good
Night Chica
Junior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 39
Vermont
14 posted 2000-10-28 12:41 PM


This poem hits close to a situation my friend was in.  The way this person used you was very awful.   I Hope your wound heals and you are able to move on.

Wonderfully written.

Megs


I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

-- Margaret Mitchell

AniKay83
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388
Missing Since 1999
15 posted 2000-10-29 01:51 AM


Welcome to Passions. Such a heart-rendering entrance. Wonderfully expressed. Feel better.

Much love all,
Krissie

~*Those words...
Oh, how I long to hear
...those words
Tell me...*~



LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

16 posted 2000-10-29 05:56 AM


Hi! Welcome to passions!
This is a great debute, very powerful writing. I really feel for you,and hope soon there will be a brighter day for you.
Hope you'll enjoy this experience as much as I do, take care!


"Most girls want a man with the mean green
Don't wanna dance if he can't be
Everything that I dream up
A man that understands real love"


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