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Dark Poetry #2
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Ritual
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Ritual |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
Her stride never breaks Head held high Crimsom lips part thoughtfully She hums as she walks down the columed hall Bare feet touching worn stone How many others walked this way before her? Only the gods could know. Her weightless golden robes Sway gently in the breeze The smells of spices embrace her fiercely As she sings a tuneless song Years of toiling labor In the forgotten rooms of the temple She, the best of minons To the cruelest of gods Endless devotion Brought her here And with steadfast faith She welcomes her fate Open your veins, fair maiden The Gods are thirsty for your purity It is the sacrifice of your worthless life That gives us gods at all |
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| © Copyright 2000 Wren - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like this! I could hear the slap slap of her feet on the floor..see the tremble of her lip as she drew nearer her fate..well done!  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Wren, what a story. I could see it as a complete picture in my mind. Amazing work. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~I agree Wren,...amazing. I was there,...walking behind her. WoW. Could feel a cool dampness and hear her footsteps echoing down the hall. Super. The last part is sort of chilling..."open your veins, fair maiden, the Gods are thirsty for your purity",...Ooh. Be well W. *Peace. |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
I agree. excellent imagery here, I could smell the spices..Loved the whole poem, Very Good!!!! The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Oh Wren...what great imagery here..so clear, so descriptive. Very good. Hardrock |
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Lynne Dale Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 114Melbourne Victoria |
Wren, this is so vivid so chilling. A living sacrifice. I could feel it in all my senses. I loved it. Kethry Kethry. as soon as you feel too old to do a thing. Do it! |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Wren, I agree with all the others!  Tremendous! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
beautifully written Wren. "A frog, it cannot comprehend the sea Nor me happiness" Paul Draper-Mansun |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This is uncannily good. As is everything you write! Lotharingia "Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
I agree with ALL the above. Well done! jwesley |
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