Open Poetry #9 |
You Are My Candy Apple |
SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
You Are My Candy Apple You are my candy apple, my five point constellation soaring by. My petal soft touch, my ring of iron will holding sky. You are my papered trees, my ticking time space spinning on. My lyrical expression, my face of tasted fame, my new dawn. You are my bottled free, my street hand gift grasping to. My aloe soother, my turning wheel ride, ...that's you. |
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© Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
I've never had much of a sweet tooth but this kind of sweet I enjoy!!! -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Hey there, ya lil Spitfire! This poem is filled with really neat similes. I have only one critical comment - there wasn't anything in there like, You are my size 11 boot, Kicking kitties Making me feel buccaneerish. It was just a suggestion - I won't feel TOO hurt if you don't add it [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 08-30-2000).] |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
this is cute i really enjoyed it...but dont let LngJhn put his boot in here...LEAVE US KITTIES ALONE THERE GUY!!!!!! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Hey Never!!! ahha. But yeah, thanks for the suggestion. Maybe next time. . LoL *Peace. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very sweet, lighter than usual for you, SF.. Loved it. Cat.... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Spitzie...me likes mucho. So many small appreciations mounting to the sincerest compliment.....all these things are you. Love it! |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Thank you Cat for reading. Yeah,...definately lighter than usual for me but I was feeling sweet at the moment. Actually, it seems a lot lately. Which is good. I think it's that burying thing happening again though, but for now, I smile. Thanks babe for always coming by my words. ~Alicat,...why thank you mucho for taking the time. And for the love. hehe. I like the name you've given me. Thank ya. *Peace. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
mmmmm...licking lips after reading aloud and yesssss it is definitely sweet. Loved it and good job on not letting LJA and any bitterness with his boots. Loved it. |
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Romy Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1170Plantation, Florida |
This is a wonderful tribute to one that you love! I especially liked the last line that tied it all together! |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Spitfire, loved the poem very sweet. "I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Spiyfire, Nice writing enjoyed the read. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Hey you . . . nice writing here!!! Love this one. I knew you had a playful side!!! LOL. Missed you and hope we can talk soon. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
It is nice to see your "lighter" side again, well done! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Mmmmmmmm....A candy apple sure sounds good right now! Where's the nearest fair?? Seriously.....this was fun for the eyes!!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
This is very sweet and so are you baby flames! |
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