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Open Poetry #9

the She, the He ...

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

0 posted 2000-08-01 03:29 PM

the She, the He ...

the She, running away to free --
  running after with glee, the He
the She, never to return --
  never to spurn, the He
the She, hiding from capture --
  hiding from rapture, the He
the She, playing with fire --
  playing her desire, the He
the She, sleeping with whomever --
  sleeping alone forever, the He
the She, growing old so fast --
  growing impatience to last, the He
the She, dying without real love --
  dying below with her above, the He

M.A. Miller
08.01.00
< !signature-->

My calling before me, let quill be my offering;
For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive.

M.A.

[This message has been edited by MA Miller (edited 08-01-2000).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2000-08-01 03:43 PM

VERY interesting, and requires a little more reading before analysis...hummmm....

Karilea
When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

2 posted 2000-08-01 04:42 PM

MA.....
      This is astounding!!! You have moved
      the characters back and forth, so that
      the focus is on the individual AND the
      couple.
           The form of this poem is truly
         unique, and I also am going to
         study it........to learn from it!

~~ To Live is to Give ~~

ma miller
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 806

3 posted 2000-08-01 09:50 PM

thank you Sunshine and Sunny1 for reading ... it's a bit awkward at first, but if you let the punctuation and the line breaks do the pausing for you, the fragmentation helps bring deeper meaning ... thanks again ...

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2000-08-01 10:00 PM

You made me think and pause with this intricate verse MA ... beautifully penned! I enjoy a good think once in a while! Thanks for this gem ... nicely done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

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