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Open Poetry #9
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-08-15 12:53 PM


I'll find no comfort
here tonight...
in midst of prayer
on darkened knee...
I'll find no meaning
in my life...

I find no God.
I find no me.
and with one clever
twist of tongue,
I wish that you
would make me young...
a promise I
was meant to be...

I find no God.
I find no me.
To wish my birth
would cease to be,
and all that would
be left of me---
gust of wind--
spray of sea...
love that tremors,
faithfully--
I could die--
and live--released.

If that were all,
I asked of me...

© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2000-08-15 01:03 AM


Hey, girlfriend~

Ya' just gotta shake off that blue funk tonight !

Loving *hugs* coming your way !

*stunning poem, my friend*

*Poof ! ... you'll always be young-at-heart !
Love ya'
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



AniKay83
Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388
Missing Since 1999
2 posted 2000-08-15 01:24 AM


I'll find no comfort
here tonight...
in midst of prayer
on darkened knee...
--------
and all that would
be left of me---
gust of wind--
spray of sea...
love that tremors,
faithfully--
I could die--
and live--released.
--------
I loved those lines the best, though I loved the whole thing. I read it with shortened breath. Beautiful.
.*.*.*.KrissiE.*.*.*.




I'm sorry for telling u love was unnecessary...
making you lose ur way
I'm sure I'll be as sad as u feel
~Touch and Go

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-08-15 05:56 PM


Thank you Krissie...your reply made me smile...

and Mom---I'm okay...I'll e ya later with the whole story as soon as I can stand to type the words, but I'm okay...and I love ya so much for your concern....Hugs---you are a beautiful spirit!

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

4 posted 2000-08-15 07:55 PM


Some excellent lines contained with your poem. (me thinks maybe you ought to be giving lessons  *smile*)
enjoyed very much.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2000-08-15 09:53 PM


I find no God.
I find no me.
To wish my birth
would cease to be,
and all that would
be left of me---
gust of wind--
spray of sea...
love that tremors,
faithfully--
I could die--
and live--released.

If that were all,
I asked of me...
=====================

well that COULD NEVER be "all that is left"
cause you are a poet...
and a mom and a very special friend..
and i'll try to not lecture anymore and
just say..im here and i loves ya me twin
me


Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
6 posted 2000-08-15 09:58 PM


You've got power and sadness in your pen
Serenity.....and you let it flow with
grace..Exquisite!

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2000-08-15 10:12 PM


Serenity, you are truly a poet...
Bustem57
Member
since 2000-06-09
Posts 98

8 posted 2000-08-16 02:00 AM


I have felt that way sometimes and it isn't a good feeling. You have such command of the pen so keep writing and things will fall into place.
Jenn E
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589
Kelowna, BC, Canada
9 posted 2000-08-16 02:30 AM


I would love to say things will get better, and in fact they will BUT until that happens the heart has to feel what it feels and mend in it's own way. You write this beautifuly and it has left me in awe of the whole aoura surrounding it. I have felt this and you speak the truth.
In my thoughts
Jenn E

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
10 posted 2000-08-16 02:45 AM


I truely hope that writing this made the pain just a litte bit less.  Your pen shares so well what you feel that it is impossible not to feel your pain and anguish for you.

Lovely plea and the flow is so perfect.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2000-08-16 08:13 PM


Thanks---I've been a little moody lately?

but my gosh, m'dear balladeer, what a fine compliment, and Mike, geez...g'wan...I blush...and of course JM---I miss ya muchly.
Smooches to all...and to all else, I'm off to read, pass back some these lovelies you've all been so generous with...thanks.

spiked
Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873
Hammond, La USA
12 posted 2000-08-16 10:59 PM


Serenity,
One could not mean the existance of another's life. Life, as precious as it is, cannot be erased because we wish it to be. One love is but a portion of what life is and there are many kind s of love. Don't count any one more important than any other. Love is love no matter where it comes from. Enjoy in that which we do have.
Rich  

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
13 posted 2000-08-16 11:02 PM


Even though you're down in the dumps, you've written a wonderful poem.  I hope you cheer up soon.

Here's some big ((((((HUGS)))))) for ya!

<*\\\><

The will of God will never lead you, where the grace of God cannot keep you.


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