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I Am
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I Am |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
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I Am I am challenge. The prey, the game. Chased, released. Depressed, relieved. I am sigh. The cross, the nail. Plied, untried. Given, denied. I am dream. The wish, the fear. Wonder, known. Blinded, shown. I am wind. The far the near. Implored, ignored. Followed, suborned. I am earth. The strength, the weak. Pushed, pulled. Confirmed, annulled. I am sky. The wind, the sails. Mooring, pouring. Flightless, soaring. I am fire. The cool, the burn. Softness, hardness. Loving, heartless. I am loneliness The crowd, the proud. Soul’s perdition, The contradiction. I am paradox. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I am 'impressed'....excellent sir... but I expect nothing less from you these days.  |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You are indeed...and how!  This is taut, tense and I have to say written exceptionally well. As to the metaphoric element - I see you are multitudinous...stretching those limits and why not hey... 'I am earth. The strength, the weak. Pushed, pulled. Confirmed, annulled.' I love this verse - wow... somehow you have managed to combine all of your chosen elements within this tight framework - and with very little imagery - leaving it up to the reader to provide their own images...this works I feel in that the poem does not become lost in the many metaphors...a balance one could say. The central metaphor of paradox is totally adhered to...and that after all was the aim... And of course let me not neglect to mention that the rhythm is nigh on flawless... 'The far the near.' - A query - was there supposed to be a comma in there? And I see you have throughout favoUred the repetition of 'I am'...typical...lol. That's a whole other argument that wasn't explored properly - perhaps a repetition challenge could be on the cards... well done you!!!!! (PS - AWESOME word usage btw...)  K[This message has been edited by Severn (edited 07-04-2000).] |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
YEAH!! Wow Yep, that about sums it up...wow. K said everything (and a hundred more things) that I thought to say. Must say...challenge velly velly well met! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
And you're cute too ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
NO MARGE(Y), NO NO NO!!! Groan...and the ego increases...lol...  K |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Impressive and articulate... and all questions possible to have been asked are done so by Kamla... only wondering if you really wanted the I am in there every time. Yes, repitition is fine, but I do not favour I AM being repeated. Anyway that's my personal view... The last stanza: I am loneliness The crowd, the proud. Soul’s perdition, The contradiction. is not the same form as the others, is it intended to be this way or are you waiting to improvise on that? just a question Over all, I was verily impressed... very much enjoyed the poem... regards, Sudhir |
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