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Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

0 posted 2000-04-10 06:38 PM

As spring arrives, 'tis time to clean,
...garage with all its clutter,
I enter in with trepidation,
...beneath my breath do mutter,
"What a way to waste a day,"
...I hear the golf course beckon,
Alternative is p.o.'d wife,
...I guess I'll clean, I reckon.
I plan attack, I get push broom,
...I'll try head on assault,
I'm met with firm resistance,
...attack grinds to a halt,
I call for reinforcements,
...my kids are all A.W.O.L.,
It seems I'm in a quagmire,
...my cleaning's hit a wall.
I go inside to clear my head,
...perhaps a can of beer,
Then comes a voice from living room,
..."What's the problem dear?"
"Not a thing," my firm reply,
...as skulk back to garage,
Maybe all this useless junk,
...is just a bad mirage.
I think I'll try surprise attack,
...I whistle real gallantly,
Saunter in with broom in hand,
...acting non-challantly,
Then from above, and from all sides,
...garage lets loose, does fire,
Falling boxes, tons of dust,
...My gawd! A white-walled tire!
I'm no fool, I turn and run,
...I beat a quick retreat,
A can of beer, in sofa sit,
...I know when I've been beat.

[This message has been edited by Mike (edited 04-10-2000).]

Meadowmuse
Member Elite

since 1999-12-27

Posts 3263

1 posted 2000-04-10 06:45 PM

So funny, Mike! That was YOU I heard whistling so gallantly?? This is sheer fun!

~ Claire

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

2 posted 2000-04-10 06:48 PM

no its yuh kids all on A O L yuh yuh nono i know this well and the tire bit was the best vury funny mike yuh

Jeffrey Carter

Member Elite

since 2000-04-08

Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!

3 posted 2000-04-10 06:55 PM

great read, I know this poem by heart.

Jeffrey

Craig
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 444

4 posted 2000-04-10 07:35 PM

INCOMING!!!

Great poem Mike but I'd watch your back!!

While you’re sat with a beer
watching your color TV
Don’t believe for a minute
that from the war you’ve slipped free
Wives are like bayonets
they’re sharp never blunt
She may be sat in the kitchen
but you’ll soon be back at the front
It’s hell out there soldier
but you cannot refrain
Your wife’s just regrouping
for the tool shed campaign

Yes, I admit your general rule. That every poet is a fool:
But I myself may serve to show it. That every fool is not a poet.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2000-04-10 07:42 PM

LOL--how I can relate--only at our house the garage is a couple thing--one we both leave alone. This poem was great!!!

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

6 posted 2000-04-10 09:08 PM

ROFL...you lured me in with the title on this one

My dad wrote me one time when I was living out west in the midst of a lovely fall season in Pa and said this:
"Some say that war is hell...I have to think that it's not being in PA in the fall"

Thanks for the nice memory

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

7 posted 2000-04-10 09:25 PM

Very good! Laughing all the way down the page!

bboog
Member

since 2000-02-29

Posts 303
Valencia, California

8 posted 2000-04-10 09:30 PM

M~
Good clean funny poem and funny replies too. I liked it.
best regards,
bboog

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

9 posted 2000-04-10 10:23 PM

ROFL!!

This is delightful, Mike!

Denise

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

10 posted 2000-04-11 08:42 AM

Craig, I see you've met Connie...
Walt, a Goodyear radial, I have the imprint on my left leg now... hehe
Claire, glad so much you enjoyed, I enjoyed writing it...  (p.s., just how the heck do yo whistle gallantly?)
Jeffrey, thanks for the comment, feel free to come over this weekend, still plenty left to do.
Martie, both you and your hubby can feel free to come over and stare at my garage... thanks for the comment,  no raccoons I saw however...  *smile*
bboog- appreciate your perusing my poem, and glad you enjoyed.  I once was quoted in the paper as saying damn...  my mother called me at 6:30 in the morning to discuss the quote, yep... my poetry is generally clean...
Ms. deVine-I write a serious discourse on the sociological impact of marital relationships and ecological warfare, and you are guffawing,,,,  shame on you... hehe
Denise... I would not be ROFL quite yet... let me finish the garage floor first... appreciate the comment...

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

11 posted 2000-04-12 12:48 PM

Hehe... you're a man after my own heart - This one goes in a special place with my "Ode to the Dandelions - or - Why I shouldn't cut the grass"... and my "Trash Sculpture"... or whatever I called that one...LOL... I love it..