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Open Poetry #6
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what can i say?
| Open Poetry #6 |
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what can i say? |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Here's my second session with the micro cassette record last night. This one ended up coming out as song as I recorded, but, since my voice is so bad, the written words will do fine, thanks. Mike -what can i say?- sung freestyle What can I say? What can I say? What can I say? What can I say? There's water stains on the walls. There's signs fallen in the hall. There's seventy-five ways to crawl And I've learned them all. There's been thirteen phone calls And fourteen non-replies. There's been no chance at all And I don't even have the voice to cry. What can I say when happiness goes away? What can I say? I found a piece of it but most of it's dead. Maybe it's just in my head. But it feels more like dread. And what can I say? It's day but I don't want to play. The child in me is gone, Melted with the dawn. And the feeling of regret stays well past midnight's slate. And what can I say? I can't forget What you told me that day. What can I say? I loved the time When we kissed in the dew. And what can I say? It was all a dream And it's over because of you. What can I say? I am here And I'm sitting on the shore. What can I say? Because just a few feet In front of me is the ocean floor. And how many planes, how many ships Have crashed into the sea? I don't know. But I do know That I lost a part of me. What can I say when I don't want to play And I don't want to spend time. What can I say When the walls are dripping slime? What can I say? It's so ridiculous To even admit something that mundane. What can I say? Life's beautiful But right now it seems awful plain. What can I say? I loved the time when I, I'm not even sure anymore. What can I say? I, I … oh, just close the door. And close the window. And paint over the pane in black paint. What can I say? Sometimes the feeling's strong, sometimes it's faint. And what can I say? What can I say? What can I say? What can I say? But the sun has risen again. And I'm left with my shadows for friends. And I say, the gems and emeralds in the grass, It all seems so high class, But it all turned to broken glass. And what can I say? I'm driving away, any chance. What can I say? I just don't want to be part of this dance. What can I say? The sun is casting darkness over me Because the clouds in the sky are not even in my eyes. And all the freeway signs are things I just pass by. And all the times that I've cried I've also tried to hide. And I can't confide the reasons I feel so flat. What can I say? There's times I'm so tired and sick of all that. And what can I say? I, I, I don't know, I, I don't know And it just goes to show. I can't even, I can't, I, I don't know what to say. And the train whistle over the Northridge night. And the train whistle makes me think of flight. What can I say? I don't know. I don't know anymore. What can I say? I've tried all my keys but I can't unlock the door. I can't unlock the door. I can't take anymore. And I'm lying on the floor with whore number four and, what's more, There's a lot more. What can I say? What can I say? What can I say? Oh go away. Oh go away. Oh just go away. |
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just_another_fe Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 483MICHIGAN |
WOW U WROTE THAT???????? THAT WAS GREAT I LOVE IT. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks. My freestyles always have flaws in them, and that's what I like about that form of writing -- just speaking (or singing) and leaving it as is, no revisions. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to writing poetry, and my own damning critic, so it's good to just let things flow free every once in a while, limitations and all. I know it refreshes me, anyway. Mike |
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amber Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 240los banos, ca, |
I couldnt agree more. Sometimes i just write everything i am feeling and it comes out more beautiful to me than something i try so hard to perfect. Becuase it is perfect in its own sense to my own heart becuase it says all that i contian. Wonderful thoughts here, some i have felt so many times. Only after trying so hard to let go, did i realize how much i wanted to hold you forever> Amber and Ellis forever and always |
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HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Well, there is certainly not much more that I can say, but what a nice piece of work you have done Ps I agree with Amber, if only my English would be better  The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Do you send these to a singer to record? This is good.... |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
I can hear the song all through this piece, Mike. "And how many planes, how many ships Have crashed into the sea? I don't know. But I do know That I lost a part of me." Very good, and very emotive. I fully enjoyed it! Claire |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
What can I say, you have written a winner today! "the child in me is gone, melted with the dawn". I'll look forward to this song reaching the top ten charts. Danny |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
the way you put things...incredible...paint the window over in black, I feel so flat...fourteen non replys...wow...just so many more....you have a great deal of talent my friend....I am enjoying your work immensly |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thsnks, everyone. Sometimes the best way to deal with pain is thrash it the ... heck ... out of ya. Swollen vocal cords and all. M. |
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