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Open Poetry #6
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2000-03-21 05:10 PM


There’s a fox amongst the sheep
A killer in the valley green
The sheep graze so lazily
As the killer remains unseen
Moving stealthily in purpose
Within the ranks of innocent sheep
Waiting to devour,
A chance for eternal sleep
It’s more than the thrill of the kill,
The hunt is everything
For if we cannot control the body,
Then our souls cannot take wing
And that is what brings rhyme to reason
Against the mind, stand the eyes to treason


© Copyright 2000 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
HrnBlwer11
New Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 1

1 posted 2000-03-21 08:26 PM


The flow and use of words were great. I liked the transition from the hunt of the sheep to that hunt our flesh is heir to. I enjoyed the subtle way you described the killer. However, the ending seemed rather abrupt, but that also allows the reader to finish. I enjoyed your poem.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-03-22 12:02 PM


The hunt is everything
For if we cannot control the body,
Then our souls cannot take wing
And that is what brings rhyme to reason
Against the mind, stand the eyes to treason
---------------
"brown eyes" now armed with trusty thesaurus...turns to letter D...(smile)
you sir are...ABSTRUSE...and RECONDITE...
now...will you explain this one to me too *L*
by the way...
the last two lines of this are perfection...
stalking you abstrusly  
your jm

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