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Open Poetry #6
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The Hunter
| Open Poetry #6 |
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The Hunter |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Laughter died and finally reality came and you ran like the rabbits you love to shoot so much. Watching you as you hopped away I finally understood the hunter in you. (I saw a target on your back.) And had I just a trigger cocked I would have squeezed just to feel the shock. Not what you said but did not say... You died. My heart died anyway. Surely you can't call this sport. Street sweeper in a petting zoo... Stupid me, trusting you. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Oh, this is so sad, Serenity.  Betrayal is very painful. You have described it very well! Denise |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
"And had I just a trigger cocked I would have squeezed just to feel the shock" Now you're not mixing guns with alcohol are you ... you know what can happen Excellent attention getter and the last verse has great impact  Rex}<{{{{o> |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Serenity, who ever you wrote this for, wow! What a slap! I could feel the sting! Very well written!-SEA |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Powerful poem! |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
I think, yup, *sniff*, that I am going to *sniff* cry at just the thought of that! You sure did say your peace well though! *Clapping and sniffing* Just be glad I'm not your child! *evil grin* |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Serenity, this is a sad poem, wonderfully written and yes I felt that sting too!! well Done! What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Ouch! I've been there too...Nice portrayal....  )Freedom of expression is the watch word... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I guess my secret's out--serenity is not exactly a description--but it is, at the least, a GOAL. Thank you all for putting up with my rantings. It's like free therapy. |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
This was refreshingly honest and sincere. I enjoyed it much -- I thought the occasional rhyme added much to the presentation. --Kess Full fathom five thy father lies, Of his bones are coral made, Those are pearls that were his eyes; Nothing of him that doth fade But doth suffer a sea-change Into something rich and strange... --William Shakespeare, from The Tempest |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Sometimes we feel as though we are on an Island and no one is there for us. This is not nessasarily true. Don't shoot I'll have to cover his shift. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Gee, spike, I could tell you were a sensitive guy... |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
I am sorry for whoever it was that betrayed you serenity, just remember, we arent all bad Great poem, I like the symbolismI am not a poet, I am merely one who speaks in emotion |
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