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| Open Poetry #6 |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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Later, After the dust all cleared I looked around to see If anyone had noticed Like the time I entered my code in At the automated car wash And when I went to roll the Window up It got stuck about an inch from the top Those electric motors Are crap I know I was in on em When they engineered em… Just enough power to put The window up Cause if we put in one Smidgen more Fraction of a horsepower It would cost too damn Much and those poor Automotive manufacturing companies Would lose a couple of Nickels profit on each car Which is pretty serious money When you stop to think About how many cars There are out there With windows that won't roll up All the way the first time So I pulled into the carwash thinking The overload relay would surely cool In time for me to put The damn window up before The wash cycle started And it moved about five Sixteenths of an inch But that was it And it stuck there And those floppy twirly mops Started spinning around And water and soap Started misting out of the Nozzles And it was coming into the car And my nifty new dockers were Getting soaked In a straight line Like a stripe Right down the front of my leg And I looked then to see if the Person in the car behind me Could see that I was a moron Who pulled into The car wash with a stuck Window And I looked around the stuff I had in The back seat for some salvation Only a plastic grocery bag I used for cigar wrappers Good thing I didn't take paper That day But it only covered about 3/4 Of the length of the open crack So water still came in Under high pressure As I fought it off with my Grocery bag Now this may all seem funny to you But really At the time I wasn't laughing Because the damn car Companies had my two nickels And I wanted them back Just then So After the dust settled There I was Feeling like I was in that Friggin car wash again Looking around to see if Anybody was looking But, As luck would have it Nobody had seen me Hit that little patch of gravel And go skidding across The pavement On my head While the dragon raked A hole in my boot ripping The flesh off of half my Foot But of course I didn't yet realize That all this had happened Because I was still more Worried about My Image Than Me. Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent! Sorry, but I did laugh at the vision of you stuffing your plastic bag into the window. But your ending was superb! Good one LR. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Wonderful writing! (sorry about your foot. And your boot. And your pants. Oh, and the window. And your nickels. And, hell, your image...sorry...) *smile* ~ Claire |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
That's okay, dear nephew... no matter how battered your image, you'll never be completely without charm. *G* I love this... though I must admit a few giggles at your expense before I remembered I should be the concerned auntie... need my crutches? *G* |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
The things that make us grow up.. eh? oh -- this is all from many moons ago... my foot has been healed for about 15 years now.. LOL.. but thanks for the crutches anyway [This message has been edited by Local Rebel (edited 03-09-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
loved this ROFG...so you are human after all? lol...and your image is precious, you are the most gorgeous poet I know... oh...you meant image not image...  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
ROTFLMAO..... I loooooove this....  ...as I look around me every time to see if anyone sees me as I open my electric window to open the door of the stupid jaguar from the outside because it doesn't work from the inside and close the window before I shut off the engine or else the window won't shut and then I disconnect the battery when I stop for too long because some stupid little motor keeps running when the engine is off and kills the battery and then I reconnect the battery when I get back in the car and I have to start the car before I shut the door because otherwise I'd have to climb over the console and get out the passenger side to fiddle with the battery connection because my door won't open until I put the window down which I can't do unless there's juice from the battery of course if the battery goes dead I would have to find a plug to jump start the stupid car with my trusty dusty battery jumper that I carry with me in the trunk everywhere I go... so I don't have to call Triple A...  ... I sure hope no one is looking....Awesome poem....  small> [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-10-2000).] |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
lol no kidding nan...this made me think of a car I had...would just shut down for no apparant reason...a part was overheating but they couldn't say which and electical parts are nonrefundable adn the cheapest choice was $400...my daughter and I actually got the timing down pretty good as we would jump out and push it through lights...bank driveups...sigh...just had to throw image out the window on that one...was too much to wish no one was watching when all the cars have to stop and wait for you to push yourself out of the way...some cars you don't miss when they are gone...great poem LR..thanks for sharing your image with us |
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Shelley Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 263Ohio, USA |
LOL... this is so funny and I'm not done reading yet. Sorry about the mishap, glad it was only your foot (and pride) that was hurt. I should have read its entirety before opening my mouth *BUT* it is still very amusing. The treachery of the carwash can be so unforgiving. LMAO This is a great read!!!! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
LOL....I thought I was the only one who did things like that |
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infinat3 sadn3ss Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 85somerset england |
this is a phenomenal metaphor.arent egos killers? |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ROFL...this is delightful!! Some things are just so funny in hindsight aren't they, but not so funny when they are happening! Excellent writing! Denise |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Rebel~ Why am I laughing? Reminds me of a flip I took off my front patio many years ago. The weather was freezing (Florida no less) and I turned on the sprinklers so my children could see 'icicles' the next morning. In the night I went out and added food color to the ice in lovely rainbow colors. Also colored glitter to make it fancy. (what mom's do for kids!) Morning came and a photographer called to say he was coming to take pictures of the winter wonderland ... I scurried out to turn off the sprinklers and when I hit the patio (which was frozen over) I did the most ungraceful gymnastic flip ( a complete flip) and landed unceremoniously on my butt. Hurt? Yeah, it hurt alright. But all I could do was scamper in hoping the neighbors didn't see me. The pictures made the newspaper and I hurt for days after. And then because no one actually 'saw' it and felt sorry for me ... I ended up telling them all about it. Go figure! Enjoyed this memory shaker ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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