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Open Poetry #6
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Soul ASea Sonnet.... #1..(with English translation)
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Soul ASea Sonnet.... #1..(with English translation) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA 
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(repost) Aye, look from shore as far as eye can sea At waving tiers of wont. Your pounding heart Beats harmonies on lonely bights, a part Of shoal’s; deep passion is revealed to me. A spray of droplets whispers in my ear As symphonies brew tempests that cascade Effluent torrents – Thence shoal’s all is said. Transuding chants of seasong’s muse I hear Upon mere’s surface – heart and soul in frith’s Fluidic dance about the brink of tide. You sea this citadel’s embracing shore In countenance amount this earthen plinth’s Protective strand, your deep lee sanctified In Heaven’s light asea forever more. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-10-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Well now, this poem has left me quite perplexed  It flows nicely and has an interesting rhyming scheme I have not seen before, but alas I cannot comment on the meaning of the poem, for it is horribly lost on me Please explain to a dumb little boy like me what this poem is all about  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Nan, I would take this flight with thee, Across this very dreamy sea. And I would listen to your words. And watch the sky and count the birds. Exquisite. *L* Sy |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Hey, a sonnet about the sea is never a bad thing...and in this case, quite a good thing |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautiful, Nan! It makes me long even more for the seaside! Denise |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Excellent Nan! Very beautiful! I had to dig out the dictionary again, of course, but it's well worth it. I enjoyed this a lot.  *Krista Knutson* "Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul...." ~*Sarah McLachlan- Do What You Have To Do*~ |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
This has always been a favorite of mine, Nan - but I think I related to it at an even deeper level than I ever could before. Thank you for sharing it once more. michael |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
Being a coastal Mainer and of Irish/scott heritage, I really enjoyed this. Picture through time, taking me back generations. What writing style would you describe this as though? (I need the edification, poor under educated waif that I am) |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Thank you all, for reading this work. It's actually one of my more intricate works, and is better read aloud than read silently. It's a Petrarchan (Italian) Sonnet, James... MM - See if this makes any more sense to you...  I look from shore as far as I can see At waving tears of want. Your pounding heart Beats harmonies on lonely bites - A part Of soul’s deep passion is revealed to me. A spray of droplets whispers in my ear As symphonies brew tempests that cascade In fluent torrents – Then soul’s all is said - In soothing chants of seasong’s music here. Upon mere surface – heart and soul in frith’s Fluidic dance about the brink of tide. You see, this citadel’s embracing shore In countenance amount this earthen plinth’s Protective stand, you're deeply sanctified. In Heaven’s light I see forever more. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Nan~ Intricately woven indeed. I do admire the talent it takes to write in this style. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Ahh, thats much better, thanks Nan Wonderful poem  |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Nan: Well done sonnet. One tiny little thing ... isn't the Italian ABBAABBA/CDECDE? Wordworth modified the second "BB" rhymes in one of his sonnets but I haven't seen the octet's rhyme scheme altered much more than that. I wouldn't have mentioned anything except I KNOW how much of a stickler for detail you are. I like the subject matter, btw, and appreciate the translation (I'm a land lubber). Jim |
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Diana B Member
since 2000-03-10
Posts 97 |
this was so lovely to read...i did read it out loud and it danced on my tongue...lovely |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Bouderwocky.... That's what I get for answering a question so early in the morning - on a sonnet that I wrote a year ago, without checking what the heck rhyme scheme I used anyway... |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Nan: You are just as responsible for creating the Bouderwocky monster as any of the other Moderators in this forum, you know. Why don't we just call this a "Nanian Sonnet"? The Whiffling JimBouderWocky |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Of course - I was gonna say that next.... I-NANIAN Sonnet it is!!.. [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 03-10-2000).] |
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