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Open Poetry #6
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Water Fallen
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Water Fallen |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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Throat caught I rush in lost vision and where leaves walk I scream by in winds moving faster than all autumns I loosed in fuming waters tumble spray-turned aware less of ending than forever falling and if I just slow to halting surely the water could curl me in the hush of soft currents yet there I am just a peace-lost drift of me water fallen |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kamla~ I am somehow reminded of a fallen leaf ... swirling atop the waters of swiftly moving currents. Beautiful images. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
Wonderfully well written severn...I like this style using the tempo of the poem to show the emotions of the writer/narrator wonderful read. Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Nurse Crachet Member
since 1999-09-27
Posts 318They know where I am! |
This is quite a poem, it almost seemed to come to life as I read it. Thanks for the journey, I enjoyed it. |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Well written and presented Severn. I could feel myself rushing along.  |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Severn: Although sounding lost it also sounded peaceful to me...hmmm, does that make sense.. HUGS I dropped a tear in the ocean when it is found, I will stop loving you... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Severn, You not only made a water fall, but I heard the sounds in the words. Well done. *L* |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Kamla..a nother wonderful work from your hands to our eyes and mind |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I like this new experimental style, Kamla! Corinne |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I'm with Marge on this...I saw exactly as she did....yet another beautiful piece leaving me feeling breathless at how you depict my moods. Seems we're both swirling atop the same waters of restlessness.....like fallen leaves. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
faster than all autumns--I love the sound of this, love the sound of the whole poem. Thank you Kamla for shraring your vision. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Yep - shivers. You move me with your works like few can, Severn. Powerful image depicted here. One I relate to only too well.  ((HUGS))Michael |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sweet Butterfly,I could see and feel every line, This is marvelous! Excellent work ! as always !What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
May those fuming waters turn calm and gentle, nice person. Excellent, as always. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree, this is most excellent, Severn! I wish you that peace that you seek. Denise |
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mirjam Member
since 1999-11-24
Posts 246Auckland, New Zealand |
Oh Kamla, i have no words to adequately describe how this amazing piece has touched me. Yes, a swirling leaf, turned this way and that in waters she cannot control, feeling scared, lost, and being able to do little more than move along with the current. You know how water is when it's running down stream, (where you are right now), well eventually it falls over a waterfall, and then... well then it rests calm in a deep pool, and laps gently against the edges. May God give you patience and endurance, until that time when you will find that peace you seek. Hey and Kamla, your writing is absolutely amazing, not that that isn't the umpteenth time i've told you that! Loved the rhythm, the words, the sense, the everything. My dear friend your gift is priceless. Love ya. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
a peace-lost drift of me Tumblin' and turnin' still I see!  Bootiful, K, and wet!  |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
Beautiful visual and sensual piece. Bravo |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You guys are all too wonderful you know that? I'm just grateful really that any poem I write can reach people. Marge(y) - Thankyou! You know I wasn't actually thinking of myself as a leaf in this...I think I was just nothing...hmmm - I do like it when a person sees something different in one of my poems than I originally intended...yay! Hugs. Chris - Well thankyou...very much! N C - Great! Thankyou! Marilyn - thanks! RG - Well, it does have peaceful imagery in it so I can easily see that! Thankyou. Sy - Hey masterpoet, thankyou very much, I appreciate it. Ruth - that is a lovely thing to say - thanks hon. Corinne - thanks! I do a lot of experimental stuff. (Given that I am NOT a structured poet at all. lol) Femme - we are indeed it seems. If you're like me then periods of mental rest are few and far between. Thanks! Martie - wow, thankyou! I never saw it as sharing a vision - and from you that means so much. Michael - Wow. That is an incredibly overwhelming thing to say and I really appreciate it. Thankyou. Gone all humbly here. Soul sis - Well you know where the current starts my friend - and thanks for being there when I limp out of those waters. Michael - thanks - and I hope the same for you 'deer one. Denise - thanks sweet one. Mirjam - you my friend are a saving grace! Thankyou. Chris - Well, wet. Yes. Thanks - I think...LOL. Robert - Thanks so much! K'Writing sharpens life; life enriches writing' Sylvia Plath |
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