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Open Poetry #6
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The Creature
| Open Poetry #6 |
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The Creature |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Crying children, no one there, Broken railing, on the stair, Mother sits with vacant stare, No food in kitchen, to prepare. The creature waits, her teeth bared white, Beneath the girders, of hell's night, Pierce the skin, in pain's delight, Feel the joy, of creature's bite. Light's filament, is hanging bare, Mother's there, but who knows where, Out on the streets, car horns blare, Who gives a damn, as if I care. I wish I may, I wish I might, See cockroach run, as neighbors fight, A handgun lays, in open sight, Come to me, no sense of fright. Shot rings out, red matted hair, Spattered pool, look, see skin tear, Creature smiles, done paid her fare, Mother dies, with vacant stare. [This message has been edited by Mike (edited 03-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enola Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 138England |
Wow. That's a good poem, I could feel the chills running down my spine. What was the inspiration? |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
This is intense, Mike. Very well written. Denise |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Tim, this description is intense and real I'm afraid...a view that must be hard to keep from thought when you search for peace. Very well written, of course. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Left a little speechless at the reality of this Good work Liz |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Mike, wow, this was very chilling and so very vivid. Excellent work!  What comes from the heart goes to the heart. Samuel Coleridge |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
OMG....what a POWERFUL poem!!! If this doesn't make everyone step back for a moment and think...nothing will. Wonderful job on such a terrible subject! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ Almost too vivid a portrayal. Stark-naked horrifying reality. I cry for us all. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
If anyone could write about a horrible incident and make it so chilling in its imagery, it's you. Excellent poem, sir...terrible subject....so sad.... |
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