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Open Poetry #6
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Hell
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Hell |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
For my life I am going straight to hell To a place where vile demons dwell And if Satan shall have his way Forever there I am doomed to stay For in my life I committed treacherous deed Upon which my conscience does now feed I have judged others by standards not my own Surely they would hate me had they just known I committed the horrible act of hypocrisy Which inflicts my soul with mortal leprosy If now death claimed me it would be quite Just For into the bowels of hell I would be thrust To burn amongst others in fire and brimstone Reaping all the devious seeds I have sown Screaming in agony as my punishments worsen Why couldn't I have just been a better person? Why did I have to hold myself above others? Dignity my blindness continually smothers I wanted others to see me how I failed to see them More than my mortal body, my soul was condemned [This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 02-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Ok..you're getting too good at this poetry writing stuff! LOL Deep and dark poem, Mistikman...I hope you don't think this is your fate..you certainly aren't a hypocrite...so it must just be a fictional work...ok.. |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Well, it is a fictional piece, mainly because I am an atheist, I dont believe in hell  But yea, I am a hypocrite. I want others to like me despite my physical appearance, yet I find it hard to get close to someone who is not physically attractive themselves. I try to look past it, but it is really hard. |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Mistikman, I am so glad there is no place like this you described here, but I have to say you did bring up some good points about judging people. Thanks, Cerenity |
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
A very interesting and well written posting, Mistikman. Hell is not a subject we often see in poetry here. I must say that I admire your faith. Reading your comments, I am reminded of the song-line "....I can swear there ain't no heaven but I pray there ain't no hell." Good Luck. |
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RufffRyder Member
since 2000-02-25
Posts 143<------Over There------> |
A very strong,dark and yet well written piece. Thank you for read Mistikman. |
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chic Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 245yellville, Ar, U.S. |
Mistikman my main poetry man  Great poem, very deep and dark, but also it describes my life to a tee  Great workTo be or not to be...that is the question.[hamlet] |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Cerenity-1- Thank you. INclan- Thank you, I dont know what really prompted this poem, I just had sudden inspiration and the words just flowed. I am willing to take on any subject, no matter how neglected, if inspirations drives me to. RufffRyder- Thank you. chic- Bah, I doubt you are nearly as much of a hypocrite as me. Just keep looking foreward and life will improve, trust me. Thank you for the response btw. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Mistikman, I like this! Quite original in execution and darkened with regret... so skillfully expressed. Excellent work! ~ Claire |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Excellent work Travis! I see you improve with every poem you write. |
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