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Open Poetry #5
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Casey at the Bar......repost for Denise from #1
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Casey at the Bar......repost for Denise from #1 |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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The clock stood at eleven in the Mudville bar that night With but one hour to go before the dimming of the light, And, with nary a female present and the hour growing late, The odds were low that Casey would be leaving with a date. The faces of the patrons filled with melancholy gloom That Mudville's living legend was about to meet his doom, But Casey smiled and raised his glass-said 'HAVE ANOTHER BREW! I'll be leaving with a honey pot before the evening's through!" And it was true that Casey never once met with defeat. His countenance was masculine, his hair was always neat.. A rather large protruberance bulged just below his belt, And, with one downward look or glance a female heart would melt. But one loud voice called out with scorn within the barroom crowd. 'There'll be no lass with you by morn!',the heckler cried aloud. 'You're no god, as these fools think. To me, you're flesh and bone And, by the time the sun comes up, you'll greet the morn alone!!' 'You're on!!', screamed Casey, full of rage. 'I'll take your dare and more From anyone who cares to bet that Casey will not score! Just put your money on the bar ... Bartender! Pass the hat! And let me show you how it's done with Casey at the bat! The hat was passed, the bets were made, the tally jotted down, The patrons waited patiently as clock hands ticked around, And, at 11:17 the first one came inside.. Casey smiled like a little child, approaching from the side. One hundred eyes were on him as they watched him make his play. One hundred ears heard poetry in the words he had to say. Then she hit his with her purse, screamed out "YOU CREEP!and she was gone. 'She adored me!' called out Casey, but the bar replied, "STRIKE ONE!!" At 11:34 the second entered in the place. Her features were magnificent..Iong hair down to her waist. Casey rubbed his hands together, smiling like a fool, And, with an air of nonchalance, he leaned against her stool. He tried tender words, teasing words, lines that never failed, Tempting words and pleasing words, but all to no avail. He led her glance down to his bulge where he had been so blessed. 'What do you think of that?', he smiled. Said she, 'I'm not impressed.' 'She's a derelict!'screamed Casey.'Her brain's fried by the sun! 'An escapee from an asylum. Yes! A loonie on the run!!' 'Surely this doesn't count, my friends. She's mad, I promise you.' 'She's a lunatic!' screamed Casey - but the bar replied, "STRIKE TWO!" The smile was gone from Casey's lips. He wore a look of pain. His face was frozen in a scowl. His air was of disdain. His features curled up in a snarl. Fire blazed from out his eye! And all there knew he'd never let the final one go by. At 11:59 in came the last one through the door, Homely, short and dumpy, she was ugly to the core! But Casey made a charge that would have paled the light brigade And Mudville's hills still echo with the effort Casey made. He adored her - idolized her - made her feel just like a queen. He tried praising her and raising her to levels yet unseen. He did his best creating a romantic calvacade And the crowd applauded wildly at the effort Casey made! She tried to leave - he rushed by her and stood and barred the door. She tried to run - he tackled her and threw her to the floor. She tried to rise - he wrapped himself around one hairy knee, And all the world was silenced by the force of Casey's plea. Oh, somewhere in this shining land, the passion fires spring hot And nookie's being traded in some high school parking lot. And, somewhere voices in the throes of ecstacy cry out, But there is no joy in Mudville..mighty Casey has struck out. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Whew! Well, after running to the bathroom, laughing hysterically, I had to print this out right away! You never disappoint, Balladeer! How do you come up with all this stuff? You never strike out! Perhaps Casey should hang out with you...hehehehehe! Thanks, Balladeer, you've made my day!  Denise |
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PhaerieChild Senior Member
since 1999-08-30
Posts 1787Aloha, Oregon |
Balladeer, that was sooo funny and I can recall quite a few of those would-be Casey's back in the day. What am I saying??? I even married one. Took him awhile but he struck out too lol. Thanks for the giggles. Poetry~ Words falling on paper, painting a dream. Shawna R. Holder Boise, Idaho |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Another great hilarity from the deer into posterity |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
I remember this one!  Thank you for sharing it with us again.Always a treat, ya are!  May I never be too busy to help another's load, Then I'll be drinking from the saucer 'cause my cup has overflowed. --Author Unknown |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I'm still laughing at this one from the first time you posted it, my Deer[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 01-07-2000).] |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
I've always preferred sports bars myself. This is great fella......LOL |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Oh, I've gotta bring this one back to the top! Just toooo funny! Denise |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
ROTLF...oh Mike..this one was fabulous! True to form you never fail to make me laugh. Excellent Dear One. |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
absolutely wonderful... i can hardly stop laughing, lol...thanks! |
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Shirleeah Storey Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 68Delaware |
I'll have to agree with Denise - you had me crying hysterically. Co-Workers thought I had finally lost it due to the pressure of my job! I remember that Casey stories, but never quite like this.....Keep them coming so the laughter will never end! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Batter up! LOL. This is great, 'Deer one... I loved it on the first read... and time hasn't diminished my grins. *G* |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Well I would add my "two cents" to the Community Poem, but I can just hear Balladeer and Longjohn now... "Oh well, there goes the neighborhood!" |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
My thanks to you all. It always puts a smile on my face to help someone laugh  Toe, putting on your two cents? Who ya gonna borrow the other penny from? |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
ROFL...only you Balladeer could come up with this |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
LOL, I think my memory is failing, geez, am I that old? I don't seem to remember this one, but I sure needed the laugh! <*\\\>< Where there is faith, there is love. Where there is love, there is peace. Where there is peace, there is GOD. Where there is GOD, there is no need. Hallmark |
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