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Open Poetry #5
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The night you left ( Nate this is the one you asked for )
| Open Poetry #5 |
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The night you left ( Nate this is the one you asked for ) |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia 
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This Poem is in memory of My best Friend David whom was taken at the age of 18, I miss him so " The Night you Left " Sirens sound All around Clock ticks So very loud You lay in pain On my legs Help is needed Not found I see you slip Your eyes they roll No longer conscious I speak to you You cannot hear A tear I cry I feel you drift Away from this world My grip Is lost A knock at the door Bursting through Sirens so loud Unheard to me My love is gone My friend is no more You lay in sweat Upon the floor Why couldnt you tell Did you not trust My friend you are Alive and in death Never will I forget That growling Night That night that you Left this life A scream I sounded When confirmed to me A cry full of pain Now left just memory Of a friend The best I knew Every year I shed a tear As I sit next to your grave I talk to you Do you hear The life I tell you of My friend I miss My heart is lost Without you here I miss you [This message has been edited by whiskey (edited 01-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Julie Nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
Very nice Ms. Whiskey...I lost my first child nearly like this....she only lived three days, died in my arms......no sirens....it was at the hospital....this was a good one gal.......... |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
This is a very sad and beautiful poem Whiskey. I'm sorry that your friend died. Your emotions are very, very, clear on this one. I bet you had tears in your eyes as you were typing this. Nathan |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Toe , Thanks, I feel for you how terrible to loose a child Hugs Nate, Thank you and Yes I did have tears rolling down my face, The memory of that night will never leave me |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
How tragic. You have my sympathies, Whiskey and Toe. Beautiful poem, Whiskey. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Whiskey, the way you've written this piece, with short, finite lines, calls forth a sense of urgency and irrevocable tragedy, so appropriately revealing what it is to hold someone who's life is your very own, as they release their final breath. I'm sorry for the intense aching of your loss, but I thank you for sharing it here.  Claire |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
I can't remember a time when I had everyone I loved alive and well..Hugs to both you and Toe!!! Heartbreaking poem. Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Deborah Junior Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 41 |
What a heart wrenching poem. It just makes me realize how lucky I've been with my friends and family. This was a very beautiful and touching poem. Deborah |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Very sad and touching poem, whiskey. Sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) |
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CrazyChick Member
since 2000-01-05
Posts 132 |
I am so sorry. I was there when my best friend past away, i know how hard it can be. I wish you all the best! Your a terrific writter! |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Thank you to everyone your replies mean alot  |
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littleJas Junior Member
since 1999-12-22
Posts 39Australia |
This is so sad , I feel for you |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Whiskey and Toe: My heart breaks for you. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Thank you littlejas and Suthern for your kind words [This message has been edited by whiskey (edited 01-07-2000).] |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Very sad  |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Toerag- have you ever written of your two little girls? I think you should, given the depths of your love and grief. Such writings might prove to be masterpieces. ...Living is ever like crossing rivers; finding a new life on each shore ... RJG |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Ruth and Rosemary thanks for reading |
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Moonshine Member
since 1999-10-01
Posts 265Australia |
Whiskey, Great poem, very sad but beautiful! (((((((Huggs))))))) I am sorry that you lost your friend and had to go through that experience. I lost someone close to me early last year and it totally rips you apart. You asked, in your poem, if he could hear you when you speak at the graveside? Yes! He can, cause he's all around you all the time - never forget that : ) |
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cokey_95 Junior Member
since 2000-01-08
Posts 35 |
I feel your pain the 3 yr anniversary of my moms death is upon me..it scares me |
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Cuddlez Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 422Walla Walla, WA 99362 |
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I understand the sitting by their grave part. My friend died on April 27th and was buried on her bday (May 1) and I ALWAYS visit her graves and cry on both those days. It does get somewhat better though. I think its sad because I know she will never have her driver's license or kids. Thats the worst part.. What might her life have been like? What part of my life would be different if she was here? Remember....... Time flies? Say it not so, time stays we go. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Thanks to everyone all your replies are comforting to me |
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