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Open Poetry #5
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The First Time
| Open Poetry #5 |
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The First Time |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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The First Time The first time that I knew your name Was like a song I'd never heard And soon the melody became The sound of every singing bird The first time that I saw your face My eyes were bathed in sheer delight And saw your image in the still Of every corner of the night The first time that I heard your voice The sound then settled in my ear And muffled every single tone Of every word I was to hear The first time that your lips touched mine The earth revolved around my bliss And held me captive to it's touch And taught my spirit how to kiss The first time that we bathed together In the stardust of the night The sky looked down and blessed our love And moon carressed us with it's light The shadows danced upon the flesh The moon defined the form of you And every breath consumed the scent Of drops of honeysuckle's dew The ever pounding of my heart And splendor of the earth and sky Were all contained within a teardrop From the fountain of my eye Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
Well done Liz! This is excellent. It flowed beautifully, until the second last line. Were all contained within a teardrop From the fountain of my eye May I suggest: Were all contained within a drop From the fountain of my eye It would just even out the flow of the last 2 lines. Well done my friend. *G* |
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PoeticKnight Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144New Orleans, LA |
This poem was great. I like how it started each verse with a "first". Very real and sensual. My kind of poem. J |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I think this is the most beautiful poem of yours that I have ever read, Elizabeth. You just keep outdoing yourself every time you write!! BRAVO *clapping* |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh...now thanks to you, I'll be singing the song all day today...lol..."The first time, ever I saw your face" This is lovely Liz...but you really do have me singing here...and if you ever heard me sing, you'd know that's not a good thing  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, Elegance personified, there are no other words. Love Sy |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Liz, absolutly lovely, you have a very sweet way of writing. Parker |
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Safwan Arekat Junior Member
since 2000-01-29
Posts 38Bahrain |
Liz, Very beautiful poem. How few of us indeed who do not REMEMBER that First Time ! I understand from all the comments you're getting that you're stepping through a threshold. I wish you the best. Safwan |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Wonderful as always Elizabeth. . . even more so now that I'm going through that "First time" again. . . Beautiful words my friend. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
I am singing with Ruth, Liz. This is eloquent romance and a sensual delight. Just Lovely!!! |
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John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
Exquisite, milady. Now I know what some of the commenters mean when they say, "If only it were written to me". |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Beautiful, Liz. Claire |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I, too, will be humming with you all day long, Liz! Sunshine Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
Wow, Liz! I swear that you have some of most beautiful rhymes I ever read. Nathan |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Elizabeth: I'm joining Hoot and Roberta Flack...excellent poem.. HUSG Memories give you the power to collect roses in the winter... |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
ohhh, geez, Liz - now you've got Hoot singing... AGAIN! I've had to turn off my PC speakers just to read the rest of the posts. As for your poem - exquisite! |
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Gene Senior Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 935Colorado, USA |
Liz, You left one out--"The first time that I read your poems." The first time that I read your poems, Something about them, took to home. I knew I would desire more, This one's no exception--that's for sure. ~Gene |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I have read each and every one of your responses with much appreciation and to the men who responded, your comments were so sweet.And thanks, Gene for the little poem Thank you all very much LIz |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Liz, though I hate to do it, I have to ditto Gunslinger. There aren't many verses that reach out and grab you by the heart... this is one. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Elizabeth, my romantic friend- This poem is the just the prettiest. I join the gals in singing ! One of the prettiest poems I've seen flow from your pen. Your sweet words are so appealing. Tony Santos is a very lucky man ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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