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Open Poetry #5
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freezing to death
| Open Poetry #5 |
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freezing to death |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
she shivered, uncontrollably, the cold I suppose... they say you can feel it coming you know? first to go, her teeth, clenched tight, not a word to escape her frozen lips her arms then fell unreachable at her sides and slowly the cold brought the fuzzy forgetfullness that soon would comfort her so and just before the final freeze set in... two droplets ran in protest down her cheek remember this...nobody has an unbreakable heart |
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| © Copyright 1999 Iloveit - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This is interesting, I'm not totally sure what you were writing about, but this is what I imagined. A homeless person with no where to go so they are out in the elements of the frigid weather and their body can take no more so it begins to shut down slowly until the last signs of life that once was is present in the form of tears upon a weary face. |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Very good, I am like lost dreamer the subject is unclear to me, Its sad all the same |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
This poor girl, whether it be actual freezing death, or something more, your at your best yet again with the last two lines. liked this alot! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
A very powerful poem with double meanings. You pulled this off wonderfully  |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
thanks for the read and the compliments... sigh...not too many words today, and yep, hoot I knew you would understand..... for those of you who didn't, its about shutting down emotionally... |
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RSEvans Senior Member
since 1999-10-23
Posts 1147Tulsa, OK, USA |
I have to say I love the protesting tears. Perhaps the mind has given up before the heart, eh? Don't stop believing with your heart. |
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caroline Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm |
Perfectly conveyed, it was...and while I am struggling to keep the warmth alive, it isn't an easy thing to do. You've written the thoughts I haven't been able to express....excellent poem! It's not the love you fear, but the fall from the height~Edwin McCain |
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Songbird Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184Missouri |
I really love this, in spite of the sadness of the whole situation. I understand it totally. Makes me want to get the hair dryer out and help this person before the core is frozen. Keep them coming. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
RS, thanks, you seem to be able to read between the lines as if I had actually written them...thanks Caroline and Septsong....thanks for the understanding and heres hugs for us all...sigh |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Well, I certainly understand it and it is so sad I can also feel the chill. Keep your heart warm and glowing, lovey, that's the important thing. Big hugs your way. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
thank you bal.....hugs |
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Echo Rhayne Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495Canyon Country, CA |
Touching, emotional, I could relate! ~*~ Hell is not a place of fire and a devil with a tail and horns. But a place of torment because the light of God is gone. To escape this, accept the blood of Jesus Christ! ~*~ |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Batteries?? Would Batteries help?? HuggsZ kid... very artfully crafted! |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
guess that would depend if they are rechargeable or not....seems I might need them more than once...sigh thanks rebel for the compliment |
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