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Open Poetry #5
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Thus I linger...
| Open Poetry #5 |
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Thus I linger... |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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Nature, with her frozen glance, Proves to us that she’s immortal. Time chokes minutes with its hands Slowly squeezing the aorta. Naked trees in passion sway, Sweeping stars, while none will fall. Icy puddles mark my way-- Dark like windows of one’s soul. Freezing doves sit on a cable Staring at the pale sky. Wind-- the hand that rocks the cradle, Softly sings a lullaby. Thus I linger, sad and dreary, Breathing in the silent night. Shaking lips still prove my theory, It’s so cold-- dreams freeze in flight. [This message has been edited by Master (edited 01-23-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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First__Knight Senior Member
since 1999-11-08
Posts 678 |
Sound like your heart is hurting....I think I would call it "Crying of the Heart" Drive it like you stole it...LOL And another thing...When I rev my engine I want people to think the world is coming to a end....hehehe |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
How about "Frozen Dreams"? Good poem btw. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Master- Firstly, it is a haunting lovely refrain. I would suggest your own words of 'Thus, I Linger' as the title. That would draw me in for sure. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
THank you everyone, and I think I'll use "Thus, I linger..." as the title. |
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Anne Member
since 1999-12-31
Posts 78 |
Oooh! I love that last phrase!! I agree, "Thus, I Linger" works, I think it reemphasizes the image that the whole world is standing still for a moment, waiting for...? I like it! |
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Bad Boy Member
since 2000-01-23
Posts 78 |
Poet has taken the word`s right outta my mouth.Frozen Dream`s is what come`s to mind when I read this.  The Devil Made Me Do It. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Hauntingly sad, Master. Excellent piece of writing! I love it! Denise |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Thank you all, I'm thinking of re-editing this one a bit. |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
IS it better this way? |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
It is perfection! Well done, Master! Another 'Master-piece'! Denise |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
IT's far from perfection, but thank you anyway! |
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