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catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2001-10-22 12:41 PM

That one will not die of loneliness..
My logical mind is so absent, and I feel so sad and depressed without the man I want to love so very much. And though I was with him last week, he doesn't really want me to love him, he is not free for that kind of commitment. He cares, but its not enough, and now I am back 3000 miles away, and I can't even breath the same air, it just feels horrible. I know I have whined about this before, and gotten plenty of good advice. The thing is, I KNOW to love myself, I KNOW that I deserve better, I KNOW that you cannot make another love you, no matter how much you love them.
And I still can't stop feeling like this

All suggestions gratefully accepted.
Sandra

I believe this is heaven to no one else but me, and I will defend it as long as I'm left here to linger in silence...Sara McLachlan

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

1 posted 2001-10-22 12:58 PM

I hope you don't die of loneliness
As for suggestions ... I have none ... I can only say that I find your picture and your personality ( through your writings ) very appealing. Surely there is a world full of possible partners for such a lovely person as yourself
You just need to meet, only 'One' of them

[This message has been edited by Rex Allen McCoy (edited 10-22-2001).]

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

2 posted 2001-10-22 02:04 PM

Thank you Rex, I'm sure I will survive..

Rex
Member

since 2000-06-29

Posts 482
Houston, Texas

3 posted 2001-10-22 02:58 PM

Dear Sandra....I'm so sorry to see that you are still going through this "drought of love". I'm sorry to say that I don't have any meaningful suggestions to offer. Having been there myself, I can only say that time will work its magic. The only measure of proof I can show is the fact that I will be celebrating my thirtieth wedding anniversary next year. God bless, and just keep on keeping on! Best regards, always.

Rex

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2001-10-22 07:34 PM

Sandra---sometimes you just have to get on with it. The fact that someone may not love you back? May be THEIR PROBLEM. Don't spend years trying to cure an emotional cripple. A baby, although nourished well, but without the human touch, will suffer a baby "depression" known as "failure to thrive." Fall in love with yourself and feel worthy to receive the love that you deserve.
Now pardon me, while I go type that five hundred times!

I keep telling you, come to New Orleans, where you will probably become a star in the next version of "Good Girls Gone Wild" ROFL... HUGS YOU!!!

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

5 posted 2001-10-23 12:35 PM

I wish I could offer some wisdom, but you already know my sorry tale!!! I like Karens answer. Lets all go to New Orleans and have fun and forget about our troubles!!!!

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

6 posted 2001-10-23 09:00 AM

So Serenity, you want to put us all up for a big party weekend???

BrightStar
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 219

7 posted 2001-10-23 01:56 PM

Have you ever thought that maybe you are in love with being in love? When Mr, Right comes along you won't have to do anything more than be yourself. Then you can write in and ask how you beat this guy off who professes to love you with all his heart and soul and you're not sure this is IT

Admiring you at Passions.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

8 posted 2001-10-23 07:12 PM

do you really know?? not to ask again. . . but, to really love yourself (for myself and in my own opinion) means that you accept who you are. . . the good and the bad, the high and the low. . . it's a light. . . something that shines from you that other people see (even when you're not at your best). . .

so, not so much "self-love" (although, that's part of it. . . )but more "self-acceptance". . . (and, of course, good friends help too!!!)

love yourself. . . accept yourself. . . and be yourself. . . you can do it. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

9 posted 2001-10-24 06:02 AM

Dear Sandra....it's a tough place to be...I'm so sorry you are there. Been there, done that...and all I can say is that I had to surround myself with positive people...positive emotions...and go headlong into life as if I were "Busting out" of the chains I put myself in. Listen to your heart...and I agree with Sven...accept yourself and let others see your light. Don't Rapunzel in the Tower... you are too lovely to hole up in a bleak spot. Open yourself to new love. Ya never know...who you might be passing by. I hope you are okay. E-mail me anytime! Love and Hugs!

Sincerely,
Regina

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

10 posted 2001-10-24 12:52 PM

Maybe another way to say what the GR8 Voice of the Northland said and Regina mirrored is to love yourself by first forgiving yourself and forgiving those who have hurt you.

That is not an easy thing to do but it is the first step in coming to terms with who you are as a unique creation of God. Then you are free to love yourself without reservation.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

11 posted 2001-10-24 03:23 PM

Thanks everyone, its all good advice, as always. It is just so hard to bear his absence sometimes..
S

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member

since 2001-10-03

Posts 818
USA

12 posted 2001-10-24 03:55 PM

I know the feeling of a person being absent and the pain it brings to your life. Advice? Oh, my. That's hard.....myself?
Well, I write...meditate, walk, listen to music and try desperately not to be around anything that reminds me of him. That's nearly impossible. Time? I suppose it will heal the wound, but no, you cannot control another's love or presence. (((((hugs)))))

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

13 posted 2001-10-24 04:39 PM

Sandra....as for putting everybody up...I just let people sleep wherever they fall!

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