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READ THIS, maybe you will understand
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READ THIS, maybe you will understand |
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douglas_laberge New Member
since 2001-02-02
Posts 3 |
I am sending this e-mail from my workplace, so if you want to reply to it please use douglaberge@cb.monarch.net. I will check that mailbox when I goto work. You can look at all the people around you. The people that worry that the color of their couch doesn't match the rest of their livingroom. Those people.. that go on vacations, and that have a social life and friends. Those people that can "go out" for dinner just cause. The people that have or goto parties. These people have no reason to be depressed... chances are you are one of these people. Some people are depressed about their Boyfriend/girlfriend situation, Some people are depressed about the fact that they didn't get what they wanted for their birthday, Some people are depressed about the color of their house. Some people are depressed just because for no reason. What about when you get to the point where there is no depression anymore. When you work 12 hours a day and the sound of your own mother crying makes you sick. What about no food in the fridge, and cupboards bare. How do you think it would feel to watch your parents slump lower and lower into poverty. Crying until there are no tears left to cry.. puking out of sadness, until you dont even have the energy to dry heave. Dead inside... with no emotions left...crying enough tears for 5 lifetimes at the sage of 16 What about literally saving pennies to feed your family. Working my ass off so my sister can goto school, so she doesn't have to go through the pain I have. Going to bed in a house with no furnace in the middle of the winter. Having to live in the dark because you can't afford the electricity to keep on one light Going out into public and having people talk about how horrible of a life you have. All these people that are so "concerned about you" that they offer you support.. but they can't spare $20 to feed my family for a week. The same $20 that they spend on their "scratch and win", or alchahol to drink because they are stressed out about all the [edit] problems in their life. What about the people that would trade places with almost anyone.. the people that would rather live in a [edit] ass apartment and have a dead end job and end up dying in a gutter alone than having to watch their family suffer. No one deserves to live like this... The sad thing is, people take their good lives for granted. They dont understand what it is like to live without their Nintendo's or TV. To have books even, friends, or enough money to pay busfair. Take a long hard look at your life, and tell me how bad off you are. You always hear "what about all the starving people in Aisa?" What about all the damned starving people in North America.. what about the people that live around all of this luxury, that can't have it.. its like hanging a big huge piece of meat out of the reach of a starving dog.. If you haven't already guessed.. this is my life.. and I honestly think that I have been given this life to let other people know that things are ok.. that it isn't a big deal that you have to sit in the back of the car instead of the front seat on the way to the carnival.. or the fact that you only have 3 tv channels.. you are the lucky ones... please dont take it for granted. [This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 douglas_laberge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Not everyone is like this...not everyone is shallow and greedy...they all arent just offering handouts...some offer a hand up...its just not always easy to see the difference...you want to talk you can email me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Sometimes Okay? IS NOT ENOUGH. SOMETIMES? we must be very uncomfortable before we stretch. even Jesus the Christ asked that the cup be passed from HIM. (tsk. tsk. tsk. to ME...sorry ali...temper showing again...) [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You are making many assumptions, lumping people all together in one box. Just because a person has a nice house and money doesn't make them ungrateful and unkind. I've known many poor people who give twice as much as those who are blessed with more. You have a computer? Means to it? Everyone has something they can be blessed for. It's easy to make a list of things we hate about our lives - it's harder to understand where others are coming from. The hardest part is taking responsbility for the things we can change. I know that to solve anything you first have to deal with the anger and begin telling others in a way that benefits the entire situation instead of cursing and demanding those see things exactly the same way you do.. Many won't and it will end up with you going on - feeling the same -nothing changes - if you love poetry - read the poets here. They have pain, joy and they write of it? We don't get paid, but the benefits are outstanding. It goes into the heart and changes you - [This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Hello Doug...welcome to Passions. This forum is used for poetry, but we do have a forum for this type of post. Therefore, I'll be moving this to the Alley, where people can respond accordingly. You'll find the Alley under "Discussions." Again, welcome to Passions. If you have any questions, feel free to contact a moderator. Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You have many valid points here...in many places, the heating bills are rising to exorbitant amounts, and people on fixed incomes are scratching their heads in wonder of how to get through to next month, when they will get yet again another high fuel bill... and that doesn't even begin to touch on all of your messages.... |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Welcome to Passions, and welcome to the Alley. This is the place for rants, tirades, and the like....although with one criteria: vulgarities are not permissible. They are caught and filted by Athena, but we still ask they not be said in the first place. I thank you for understanding, and come back anytime. :> “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
Welcome, PIP is a great place to visit. Your piece is quite disturbing in many ways to me. I was raised in a family that took NOTHING for granted. My parents both worked but there was never enough to go from week to week. I see you are working and praise the Lord for that! Maybe you will be the hope of this family to a new beginning. Every little bit helps. Try not to focus on the past and try for the future. A "I can do anything" attitude will help. Hugs, ME |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I'm curious, Doug...that $20 a week you speak of...does that go towards your internet connection? I believe that if you feel free to come here and pass judgement on many many people - and the way they choose to live their lives you might expect a little judgement back. Now, I sympathise with you...I even empathise. I won't go into detail about my childhood and the ways in which I suffered, or watched my mother suffer...or discuss the many things I was deprived of...but I have some advice I want to give you. It's your life. Unfortunately, other people will seldom take responsibility for it. Also, in my opinion, its very unfair to assume that because people have houses and cars and tvs etc, that they do not understand depression. Poverty does not solely extend to lack of things...it can extend to poverty of the heart. It is simply not right to compare one's problems to anothers. Like I said before - this is your life. If you need to change it - then it lies in your hands to do that. It's possible you might say now that you can't, or it's impossible. I can counter that - it is NOT impossible, because I have done it myself. At 16. Many things are possible with determination, faith and the ability to weather through incredibly hard times. Yes - it can be so depressing nothing feels worth it. Essentially though Doug - blaming the world as you seem to be doing won't change one little thing. Take care K |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I'm wondering why you chose Passions in Poetry Forums to discuss this issue? If you know anything at all about our family here, you would know that we are a diverse group from every corner of the world. Every walk of life. Every age group. Every spectrum of the social ladder. But the one thing we have in common is the ability to feel another's pain. Your pain is very evident in your post. I won't offer sympathy because I don't think that's what you want. What you're looking for is a place to vent...and you've found it. Yes, all the things you say are true - to a certain extent for SOME people. But don't lump us all together ok? And don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes..... |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
...I think I saw this movie a few years ago. I call BS. You've covered about all the traditional pity-party bases. You forgot to tell us about the aunt of yours who's been wrongfully sent to prison though. Hey - if I want to worry about the color of my couch, I can. I've worked my way to where I am now and have the right to squander or donate it as I see fit. I started at the bottom rung of the ladder just like almost everyone does. I searched for or made opportunities which allowed me to step from one rung to the next. I'm still not at the top, but I know that where I am I came by honestly. I didn't try to wheedle money out of people's pockets to make my life easier. But if I am going to share some of what I've earned, then I'll do it through the various charity organizations that are... oh my goodness!, helping out RIGHT HERE IN AMERICA! Imagine that! Someone else thought of it too! IF straights are dire enough, there is help for everyone willing to put forth an even meager amount of effort. I know, I hear about it on almost a daily basis... see, my mother, another person who's had to drag her way up the ladder, is now working on her Masters Degree in Psychology. (Did I mention that she started school when she was 30, recently divorced, with several kids, and NO job experience other than that of a housewife?) She works for the county, dealing with people who are down and out. Those who want to make an effort, however small, are helped. Those who refuse to do anything about their situation won't find much help available. (Unless there is some form of handicap, of course.) She tells me all the time about people who are getting on their feet, because they've stopped whining and started working for a better life. There are things such as "Welfare to Work," which is the government's way of helping you get a job, where you can support your family. If it's not enough, they'll help supplement it (with tax-payer money of course), for a set amount of time or until you're back on your proverbial feet. As Severn said, it can be done. So in my opinion, if this is your life - drop the martyr syndrome and look for different/better employment, or find some help. Obviously if your current workplace is lenient enough to allow you time to post whiny messages on the Internet, then you have plenty of time to find another/better job. Christopher [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 02-03-2001).] |
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douglas_laberge New Member
since 2001-02-02
Posts 3 |
thank you christopher.. you seem to be quite literate.. but i'm not.. this is how i'm trying to explain myself and this is the way that I vent my feelings... i didn't know there was a special format I was supposed to follow... i thought this was a place i could come and talk about my problems.. but it seems that you've now explained that i'm just whining about my problems and dont actually have any problems...... I work 12 hours a day.. and I help my family... i dont want anything from you but someone to listen.... what is all this about you emphaziging "work" and "help" and "effort"? i'm trying here ok... and further more I dont want your or anyone else's money..... i will make my own by working.. you say you had to go through the same thing as me? then maybe you would understand.. but i guess not....you've helped me to understand people a lot more.. and thank you for those of you that have been supportive.. but obviously this isn't a place for me to share my feelings.. [This message has been edited by douglas_laberge (edited 02-03-2001).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Douglas - What bothered me the most was the attitude with which this was presented. Letting off steam is one thing, and more than welcomed. Coming into a place and decrying others because they have more and choose to spend what they have on themselves rather than "...spare $20 to feed [your] family..." is insulting at the least. I'd hazard a bet that most of the people you find here work for what they have and have earned each and every bit of it. Many of us have started at the bottom. We've been there, know "what it's like." Some of us have been low in our lives... Living on the streets, in a car, hoping that old puke-brown Toyota Corrola will start the next morning so we can get to work. We've started out as manual labor, working in the cold rain in the winter then the incredible heat in the summer - Swinging a hammer, pounding nails, busting butt to get the job done so we can get paid on Friday... Living off of unemployment during the rainy season when the jobsites were too bogged down in mud to be accessible. We've worked in factorys, on the assembly line, bleeding our hands for minimum wage at 12 hours a shift. We've joined the armed forces to try to make our lives better, to find a path that leads anywhere but the downhill, empty one we were sliding down. Jumping at the bark of a command, running, pumping, drilling, sweating to make it. Coming out years later to find ourselves beating boards again, building more houses that we couldn't dream of affording. We've jumped on opportunites, or sought them out, never being satisfied with ourselves and our lives as they are. Spend all the time after work studying, learning new, more marketable skills, becomming more "literate" so that we can rise above the bottom rungs. Then workworkworkworkwork to be the best there is, despite lack of formal training, proving to people that "self-taught" can be just as good, if not better than a piece of paper from school. Then, taking a breath one day, realizing you're not on the bottom rungs anymore, that all that effort paid off - Only to have someone tell you that you take your life for granted and "don't know what the "[bad word]" it's like..." Lessons learned Douglas, a lot of us do know what it's like. Yep, the above is my life. I've "been there, done that." And there are some here who've had it worse. We have people with disabilities, people who suffered through the depressions, the wars, people who've lost loved ones. It's a cruel world out there for a lot of people Douglas, and demeaning people because you have it rough is probably not the best way to go about it. Come in, complain, whine (I do it all the time...LOL), mope, groan, whatever you want to do. But please don't tell us we take life for granted. Many of us understand. That being said Douglas, I wish you no ill. I apologize for coming off so harshly... you see, there are things that get our "dander" up - and things like this are one of my pet peeves. Peace and good luck in your efforts, Christopher |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Douglas, this is a family here, people from everywhere, from all social groups, ethnic, economic, religious, whatever and wherever. We abide together in harmony, we don't always agree with everything everyone expresses, but we respect that everyone has an opinion and is entitled to air it. What worries me most about your post is that, you don't seem to have read anything before you slammed into everyone. Because if you had taken a moment to read the other works here, you would have understood the philosophy the guiding principal of this place. It is there on every page, A Family of Friends, and even if you had only read the guidelines you would have understood what we are about here. So although I can empathise with you, I really think you have very little comprehension of spirit, of love or of truth. You seem to very prejudiced to me, maybe it's unintentional, but it is definitely blinkered. We every single one of us are here for a reason, that reason is not for us to know, it just is. May you see HIS light, learn HIS wisdom and listen to HIS voice. Take care Marsha  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Did any of you take the time to write to DOUG? If so you might have found that he is just 16...and he quit school to go to work in order to keep his younger sister in school...he is online ONLY at work...he doesnt have a computer at home...y'all judge just as harshly as you accuse him of doing...he has a wonderful attitude caring and supportive and loving his family...and all he wanted was a place to scream and yell and let the feelings he has to hide at home OUT!!!!!! I think he chose a fine place to do that...a place where people are kind and compassionate for the most part anyways. Doug is an intelligent sensitive guy...old beyond his 16 years and a joy to talk to...shame on those of you so quick to judge |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Paula, People weren't saying that he wasn't. What they did say, however, is that they don't like being bashed. I don't think any of us were judging him Paula. He has strong feelings on the matter, and so do some of us. My dad used to tell me that if only one person saw it as a problem, then it was probably just them. However, if several people saw the same thing as a problem, then there probably was an issue. Many saw this not so much as a tirade, but rather an accusation. I apologized for my tone, but not my message. And I'll tell you the same thing I told Douglas - many of us here know. We understand what things are like. While it's different from person to person, being down and out is likely no fun for anyone. ... I don't know. I don't feel like dragging this out any farther. Douglas is welcome here any time. But just as he is welcome to post his thoughts, so am I. C |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
As much as I hate doing it I have to agree with Chris on this... I completely stand by my opinion. Paula, did you read the part where I said I can sympathise and also empathise??? Oh yes - I can. You know it is funny. Here is a small tale relating to the genorosity of people - in order to elaborate. I left home at 16 for various reasons and went to a huge city from a tiny rural town. Overwhelmed and depressed, I was living in a house with odd people - malnourished, unsure of how to take care of myself properly - no role models, no guides...just enough money to phone my mother every week and eat what food I bothered to buy. (And that was my own fault also - no responsibility goes to anyone else)...my 17th birthday was spent crying on the back of some dingy steps, completely alone. It was hell quite frankly. Yet, I was determined - I walked over 5 km's (3 miles?) in blazing summer sun because I didn't understand the bus system to a technological insitute to put myself through a course... I see determination like that in Doug - how he is working... Anyhow, a wonderful lady there helped me get a scholarship for my course as I couldn't afford it on my own. She also came to my squalid 'home' one day - walked in, looked around - and said 'Pack your stuff, I'll be back in an hour, you're coming to live with me.' Her husband was an official for a major airline; they lived in one of the richest suburbs in Auckland..and yet she took time out of her wonderful life to help a total mess of a girl. Active help DOES happen. I don't like to share stories like this about my 'past' and life on the net because they are personal. But because I feel passionately about this topic I did - even if it was much edited in the telling. So my judgement as it were stems from my own personal philosophies, not from any conviction that Doug is absolutely wrong in his feelings. My main point - we are all responsible for our own lives, and if help comes along then that is amazing and something to always be grateful for.  K |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I wasnt saying you werent entitled to your opinion...this is another case of each individual reading something more or less into a write...because I never read it as Doug accusing anyone of anything....just as a kid venting his anger at the way things are...and when you talk to him you see that he doesnt expect anyone to give him a handout...or to give up what they worked for...he's just a young man hurt and afraid and lonely and needing to say how he feels away from the family he stays so strong for...and for the hugs we so freely throw around in the forums...its his sister he cries for not himself...for all the things he wants for her...the opportunities...he's a smart guy...he's gonna make it on his own...but beneath it all is a boy...just a boy... |
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