»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #2
»
The life of a leaf
| Critical Analysis #2 |
|
The life of a leaf |
|
|
DbarrM Junior Member
since 2003-08-26
Posts 14 |
Cold and dormant, waiting for warmth Longing for the days of spring A sprout is forming, starting to grow The beginning days of a leaf Soaking in the sun, blowing in the wind Covering the ground with shade Filling the tree with wonderful color Turning in the autumn breeze The light is fading the air turning cold Drying up and turning brown Falling floating hitting the ground The end of once new growth DbarrM |
||
| © Copyright 2003 DbarrM - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
[Copy of poem removed by mod to save resources] You're quite inconsistent with your poetry. Because the first couple lines you separate the clauses with commas, in the lines such as: "The light is fading the air turning cold" you should place a comma after the word "fading". Also, as this is a cycle of life poem, I would use more similar imagery at the end and at the beginning. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (08-30-2003 06:57 PM).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
