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Critical Analysis #2
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Love and destruction
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Love and destruction |
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alex m Junior Member
since 2002-08-27
Posts 12 |
already posted this in teen poetry but i think i can make this poem better so ill come here to try to work out the kinks in it...lets hope theres something left after weve done that  Love and seduction Death and destruction pain and anguish a prayer and a wish I only mourn for one thing its nothing that I've lost it's that I'm never trying no bridges have i crossed i mourn that i have no courage no will power and no strength there's a million things to discourage me from doing what i think i mourn that i cant ask that question on my mind it isn't to hard a task but when it comes to speech I'm blind i mourn that I'm not good enough not worthy to even hear you I've learned that life is rough I just want to be near you I only look for one thing but i can never find it think not I'm falsely glorifying the beauty as i see it no thing compares no ideas no thoughts and do i dare compare the kettle to the pot like the sun on my face the moon when its full like the apple and its taste as sweet but not so dull as beautiful as the rose no thorns included in beauty you the most as i have concluded your skin as soft as snow without its cold bite how long i could hold you close and weather the storm throughout the night your mind as sharp as a tack its equal to your beauty there's nothing that you lack how thats possible still eludes me but do you notice me do you have a clue do you ever see me when my eyes are on you do you know how i feel when i see you in a class like I'm in a world unreal how i wish forever it would last I only want for one thing to be with you forever to hear the angles sing a right righteous endevour to see your eyes burning bright to hear your wonderful laugh to see all the glory and the light i wish forever it would last like music to my ears so joyously exquisite makes my eyes swell with tears Like an angel come to visit I only covet one thing its the thing I've never had i only covet one thing something everyone wishes they had i only covet one thing its what i need the most i only covet one thing if i had it it'd be quite a boast i only covet one thing merely seeing you gives me life i only covet one thing everything would be all right |
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| © Copyright 2002 Alex Montello - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Avis Junior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 38Raleigh, NC, USA |
I enjoyed this poem allot actually, and I like the message that it gives. I would first suggest to insert some puntuation into your poetry so the reader will know when to pause, when to fade out, etc. It might help the life of the poem and get you a more desired effect. Good work! Peace and Love, |
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alex m Junior Member
since 2002-08-27
Posts 12 |
hmm....since i have really never learned anything about writing poetry i really dont know how to do that..could you give me an example? |
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