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Critical Analysis #2
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Madiocrity (Revision No. 1)
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Madiocrity (Revision No. 1) |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash 
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Ubiquitous chitiny of lunatic clicks So persuasively did they speak The facts? The facts confuse me Don't confuse me With the facts My mind is made A made mind A mad mind Made sophisticated mad How you, O Athenians, have been affected I cannot tell, I cannot tell So persuasively did they speak I almost forgot who I was Who I am Who am I? Who are you? (Mad sophisticated made) The facts confuse me Don't confuse me with the facts my mind is made What do the slanderers say? I know! (The hour of departure has arrived) I know not? The facts accuse me Don't accuse me with the facts My mind is made A made mind A mind made mad I know! Ubiquitous chitiny of lunatic cliques Yet hardly an uttered word of truth [This message has been edited by jbouder (10-03-2002 02:01 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
This is really, really cool, I like it a lot. The wordplay is really neat. I'm not sure yet what I think it's about- what is a chitiny, by the way? I tried to look it up, but couldn't find it. The clicks/cliques has me wondering too- the 'clicks' have me thinking of the endless phone run-around... being put on hold, transferred here, there, and everywhere... and them speaking persuasively makes me think of the narrator on the other end, wanting to hang up, but thinking, "oh, well, I can wait another second or two..." and the rest of the stanza seems to kind of hyperbolize this conflict- I mean, you know it's BS, but you deal with it anyway... The second stanza confused me- is it an allusion or reference that I'm not catching? Or is the narrator just crazy?  I don't knwo, that's what i find myself asking throughout the entire poem... anyway... it left me confused, but thoroughly entertained.'Well, I will not be an enemy of anything |
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caterina Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 188Canada |
Jim, This is 'abstractamundo' and I plan on coming back to it later but I want to read it a few times first. Btw, the first line, should that be 'cliques'... the same spelling as at the end of your poem? I do like it though and your format works for me too. I like different formats, it's something I always forget to do. Until later, caterina |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
Nice poem. I liked the way the words are jumbled to indicate the disorganized mind. I also like the constant repetition of an idea or sound indicating an obsession, mental illness, or temporary irrationality due to-perhaps, anger. Also, the run on sentences reinforce this sense of mental disorientation. Very well written IMHO. BTW I agree with Caterina about the "click." [This message has been edited by Radrook (10-03-2002 05:52 PM).] |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
hey Jim - this is really cool. I love the presentation as well as the consistent play on words (ever listened to the band Eve 6? They do that a lot well - provides not only fun phrasings, but the contrast beetween meanings of the same words). Not really in critique mode, so i may come back to this later to add a few words, just wanted to say this was a lot of fun. C |
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caterina Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 188Canada |
Jim, you definitely have a 'mad' going round the bend kind of poem here, hence the title "Madiocrity"-- great title btw. I haven't the faintest idea what the word chitiny is and I looked it up also and couldn't find it, unless it is a new word of your making. Just for the fun of it I looked up chit 1)a child 2)a pert young woman, but then I don't know what clicks are and you didn't change it to cliques so I am thinking it is spelled that way intentionally. So, I don't know who they are. It seems in the first stanza that someone is offering info and this person is refusing to listen. And as I continue to read, I think that I'm going to go mad lol so maybe that was the purpose of the poem? The last line is interesting-- 'yet hardly an uttered word of truth'...does it have to do with gossip? I am just guessing, guessing, and I look forward to you solving this puzzle. Even though I don't understand what is going on, I liked this. It kind of goes with the crazy world of today I think and the way you worked the words is neat. Maybe Chris will be able to clue us in, I think he may be on the same wave-length as you. What can I say, I just liked it, period!  In fact, I think I have felt this way a few times if not several.Thanks for the challenge, wish I could have solved it, probably something very obvious, right? caterina |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Hmmm. So I might be crazy or mentally ill? Nice. I can let you in on "chitiny", at least, for now. My word, combining "chitin" and "litany". Should help the first "clicks" make more sense. Thanks all for replying. I'll be more specific later as (or if) others reply. Jim P.S. Caterina ... me on the same wave-length with Chris??? ~gack~ [This message has been edited by jbouder (10-04-2002 09:07 AM).] |
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caterina Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 188Canada |
Jim, Aren't we all just a little crazy or mental sometimes, at least I know that I am.lol Thanks for the clues, I will take another stab but if I still can't figure it out, I'm not coming back, I think your brain is a little keener than mine. And gack, what is gack, another new word, I mean what about yuk, yuk...but gack? Another new one for my vocab. caterina |
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warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Hmmmmmmmmmmm......I seem to remember a somewhat similar poem way back when...is it the one you are revising perhaps? Won't let anything else out. Kris "It is wisdom to know others; |
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lizzy-luv Junior Member
since 2002-10-12
Posts 20new hampshire..oh, the hicks abound |
your wordplay was very captivating. it kept your flow very lively. i have no real critcisms. very good use of complex meanings, sometimes it seems like people use them simply to use them (and big words, too). but your meaning came across clearly. 'love is a dangerous angel'(Fransesca Lia Block) |
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Capricious Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 89California, USA |
I for one am waiting for the author's notes on this one. Quite intriguing. |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
Gang: I typically don't like to offer explanations of my intent, but since several people picked up on the meaning of my first draft I will, at least, let you all in on some of the details. The lines in italics are, more-or-less, direct quotes from Aristotle's "Apology of Socrates", describing Socrates' trial for corrupting the youth of Athens. Basically, the Sophists (those who "say they know, but know not", in Socrates' words) didn't like Socrates' public criticism of their teachings, and had him tried, convicted, and executed on bogus charges. The allusion was intended reveal the cause of the speaker's anxiety ... chiefly, that his opponants were so convinced of the untruth of their positions, that they prefered an escape from reason to confronting the weakness of their position. My hope is that, once the reader identifies the allusion, the poem makes much more sense. Hush: I think you grasped my intent without picking up on the allusion. Thanks. Chistopher: I do like Eve 6 and appreciate you comparing my poem to their lyrics. Maybe I should begin writing alternative rock lyrics? Caterina: I think you've gotten the gist of the poem as well. Glad you liked it. Kris, Lizzy and Cap: Thanks for commenting. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Jim |
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