How To Lose - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Critical Analysis #2

How To Lose

kif kif
Member

since 2006-06-01

Posts 439
BCN

0 posted 2006-07-01 02:08 PM

(I posted this in philosophy, but nobody's critiqued. In effect, this is a re-write, as I've changed and deleted some aspects.)

It's all to do
with what courage really is.
How are you
in the face of another *fist?
Can you feel
what will seal true acceptance
which is righteousness?
Or will you prove
it's no use, and slip
into a weak disgrace, and turn away?
For morals are remembered things
to understand equality,
stand up for what you truly feel,
no matter what the risk.

(*I keep toying between 'fist' and 'miss'. I choose 'fist' because it it evokes images of violence, applied dominance, although I'm inspired by the line "where is your character, in the face of disappointment"...something I heard on a mix-tape.)

[This message has been edited by kif kif (07-01-2006 06:49 PM).]

ChristianSpeaks
Member

since 2006-05-18

Posts 396
Iowa, USA

1 posted 2006-07-03 01:35 AM

Interesting piece. I think that the word fist is better than miss because it is more concrete . Additionally, each can hurt as bad as the other. That's what I think.

CS

An artist's job is not to commentate the truth.
An artist's job is to create it.
-Dane Barner

kif kif
Member

since 2006-06-01

Posts 439
BCN

2 posted 2006-07-03 02:21 PM

Thanks, ChristianSpeaks. I agree with your 'concrete' comment-miss has too many meanings.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.