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Critical Analysis #2
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Dragot
Junior Member
since 2006-04-30
Posts 11


0 posted 2006-04-30 02:34 AM


What is a Coppperdoctor?
It’s my first memory of the
Spoken tongue.
It was a word I invented
When I was three living in Sauk Centre.
Our two story house was in the countryside
Nestled in 7 acres of pines and oaks.
Perhaps it was just gibberish, a
Play on words, yet
It became the matter of discussion to my mother and me
Long after we left the country, when I was still a
Child.

What is a Copperdoctor?
We considered that it could be a police car,
There is the word “cop” in it. I tried
To recall seeing a policeman in his uniform
Knocking on our door, but
We were country folk, they
Never came out here for my three-year old eyes
To see,
And it would be many more years before my father’s
Alcoholism would drive him to the arms of the law.

I suggested a helicopter.
In my youthful enthusiasm at seeing
This hovering steel bird in the sky,
Could I have shouted out my name for it, as
If I was some daring explorer discovering a species
For the first time? We decided probably not, and
It would be many years later that the helicopter would
Fly my father to the Mayo Clinic after his
Drunken collision.

I had other memories of language beyond
Copperdoctors.
After my invention of language, I became a superior
Reader of signs. The family would drive along Main Street in our
Blue minivan, and I’d shout out my claims of being able to read street signs
And store signs. They’d never believe me, just like they
Never believed in Copperdoctors.
“That one says Hardware Store! Toasters on sale!”
We’d take a left, head down a side street,
“That’s Sinclair Avenue! Now we’re at the Ding Dong!”
We ate our dinner at the small diner and my father
Told us he was getting a job in New Ulm, he was going to be
The postmaster, with long hours and responsibility.
We arrived in the city just in time for me
To start the first grade. I was excited
To be getting a real education. Mrs. Love
Was my teacher. She taught me how to cross
My t’s and dot my i’s. She showed me how to spell words
I could only say, “M-u-c-u-s, S-p-i-n-i-c-h.”
The schooling of the big city also taught me
There is no such thing as
Copperdoctors.



© Copyright 2006 Dragot - All Rights Reserved
DavidTheLion
Junior Member
since 2006-04-06
Posts 36

1 posted 2006-04-30 03:43 PM


Ive never read a poem like that in my life...quite original...I like it! Im not big on critique, cause Im just too new...is this based on actual facts...or just all made up? What is a copperdoctor...
hush
Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653
Ohio, USA
2 posted 2006-05-04 12:15 PM


I like this... maybe just a couple of suggestions... I would spell seven out, rather than saying '7 acres' just because this has a very prose-like style, and it seems to stick out.

I would also work on capitalization. Maybe capitalize just the words that start a new sentenct, not every word that begins a new line?

And I'm not sure if this was intentional... but where you talk about the teacher teaching spelling.... you spelled spinach wrong.

Hope this helped.

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