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Hence the Resurrection
| Critical Analysis #2 |
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Hence the Resurrection |
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MexicoCityBlues Junior Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 48The Point of Know Return |
I find your face in every word— Photographic memories in cold blood burning Silently within our forest you kept silent for Nighttime daydreams wide awake while you try to Sleep, baby, sleep, baby, sleep When the cradle fell you walked off. Our forest fell. Falling on me on you again and you are quick To push it back up again with hands Fragile vinyl In time’s forgotten spell we spun round and round And round hearts I felt without touch in your eyes Which smoldered in confusion fusing needle to spine Then ripping back to abnormal abnormalities That you called confusion. Metaphorically speaking—metaphorically that is. And I rinsed your eyes again with my pain That never touched blindness more than twice Opening eyes to passion-morning and you looked Through me To find bastard filth encrusted in heart-shaped valentine And green blood that bubbled as you awed and dreamed And loved and loved and loved and hurt and loved. Our forest fell. I lifted stones from my chest with ease with wavering keys And fallen angel fantasies jumping down from picture film And into my house while you sat on the sidelines watching Us dance on clouds she rented for the night while I envision First kiss monsters creeping into driveways at night Where she sat next to me on the grass and next to you in me On the grass where you sat on the sidelines watching us dance. Our forest fell. Our forest fell under fire on July 4th. Salute bombardment on The world That shames us all and kills What brother? You were on the eve of destruction while the world destructed You were on the eve of destruction while the world was destroyed. Our forest fell. Under staged turbulence and gun shot wounds to the head The both of us squirming unsuccessfully on shores of Normandy In distress bleeding on mother’s sofas in clumsiness And lackluster looks consuming all living hope That we dreamed about together ever after on fairy tale face value After fallen angel healed her own wing. Metaphorically speaking—metaphorically, that is. You said you wanted to be a pig And we laughed and I bitched and you laughed and we laughed Enjoying speech in computer worlds everywhere coming soon— “It’s already there.” Let’s watch it again and melt in embarrassment as recent childhood past passed is flashed before our vulnerable child eyes at drive-in prospects we never executed as planned but watched my inspiration disintegrate into nothing but freedom and you and sappy poetry that we all read to put ourselves to sleep But your hands have been stripped and I gave you back your clothes And I helped you tie your shoes And I showed you to the door with high expectations of late night talk Shows while talking with glazed lips on high And I find your face in every word. And I find your face in every word. Hence the resurrection of our forest. Can’t wait to watch it burn. "Do you realize this world is totally fugazi?" --Marillion |
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| © Copyright 2004 Carson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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croyles Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 102 |
I am not good at Criticizing and it is 1:15 am here so i think i will just say this: Could you please use some punctuation? I didnt fully understand the meaning of the poem because there wasnt any. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
im completely unable to critique this, its just not my area. did want to say that i highly enjoyed reading this and hope you repost it after youve recieved the critique you want. |
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hush Senior Member
since 2001-05-27
Posts 1653Ohio, USA |
This seems like it might be a little better as a spoken piece than just being read... it was really hard for me to stick with the run-on quality of the lines, but it seems like you may have intended that. |
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